mxtx crack

004

ok i promise all i have left will update before wednesday and tgjz (heaven official's calamity) will update like before next friday but just let me have this man 

incorrect mxtx time:

1: 

luo binghe: wei wuxian, what time is it

wei wuxian: wait a second

*takes out chenqing and starts aggressively blowing*

hua cheng, shouting from across paradise manor: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE FLUTE AT 2 AM

wei wuxian: its 2 am 

2: 

wei wuxian: it's really muggy outside today

jiang cheng: if i go outside and all our mugs are on the front lawn, i'm going to kill you

wei wuxian: sips emperor's smile from bowl

3:

shen qingqiu: can you tuck me in?

shang qinghua: ??? you just handed me a shovel

shen qingqiu: yeah, just spread the dirt over me as evenly as you can, thank you

4:

xie lian: i can't believe we're stuck in this room together

hua cheng, swallowing the key: yes, truly unfortunate

5:

shi qingxuan: i'm so useless :(

ming yi: nah, you're not

ming yi: you can be used as a bad example

6:

wei wuxian: i hate the way you pack my lunch

jiang cheng: well maybe you should pack your own lunch

wei wuxian: *packs 32 oreos*

jiang cheng: maybe i should pack your lunch

7: 

hua cheng: yall know what? if youre not perfect, that's okay

hua cheng: you don't have to be perfect. you don't have to feel bad about yourself for not being perfect

hua cheng, lifting up xie lian: because obviously, nobody can be as perfect as dianxia is and that is completely normal

8:

kidnapper: we have your son 

lan wangji: i dont have a son

kidnapper: it says daddy here on the contact name

lan wangji: oh shit they have wei ying

9:

random ghost: *is asking question*

hua cheng: *is not interested*

leader of the group of gods: *declaring some important decisions*

hua cheng: *is not interested*

xie lian: *smiles*

hua cheng: yes, gege?

9:

sha hualing: are you in love with your shizun?

binghe: *sweats*....no

sha hualing: then why do you have S+B* in hearts everywhere

*shizun + binghe

binghe: it stands for suffering and bitterness

10:

shang qinghua: why are you naked?

shen qingqiu, sitting in bed: i dont have any clothes

shang qinghua, opening his wardrobe: sure you do; you have lots. like this robe, this coat, hey binghe, these shoes, these pants

come back for more next time hoes and make sure to vote because im lonely