You're Mine. Namjin

43

Jin's POV

"You must not get int-er molecular forces confused with int-ra molecular forces.

"Next we will look at the three main types of intermolecular forces."

I tried my hardest to pay attention to my chemistry lecturer but Namjoon's empty seat kept distracting me.

This is not good. I already suck at chemistry.

It's been a week since I broke up with Namjoon and a week since I last saw him. To be honest  I didn't think I would have to break up with him. 

I had only suggested breaking up because I thought it would knock him back into his senses and he would tell me the truth. I had so much faith in him, I did not ever, even for a second, think that he would actually let our relationship end just like that. I really thought I meant more to him. I really thought we had something special, something real. 

But no, he didn't even try to explain anything. He just said okay and walked off. I was beyond shocked just watching him walk off. He didn't look back even once. I still didn't let it sink in and expected him to come by my house later, to call me or even text me. 

I got nothing from him. 

I guess this relationship did not mean to him as much as it did to me.

And why would it? Namjoon was a rich and attractive guy. Pretty girls would give anything just to get a chance with him. Really pretty girls.

He could have anyone he placed his finger on, then why would he care about our relationship.

I was so angry at myself though. I was so angry at myself for being played like this. Why did all of this only make sense to me just now? Why did I let myself fall so hard?

What did I think, that he was my prince charming and we were gonna live happily ever after? Ridiculous! Even after seeing, and living through the harsh realities of life, I let myself be made a fool out of.

I knew how the world works. The strong knawing off of the weak, the rich oppressing the poor. That's how it's always been, and that's how it always will be. Then why did I let myself be pulled into a dream world when I knew that dreams are meant to be shattered.   

Everything that I had worked for, for all these years, I was about to blow it up for one person. A person that never loved me in the first place. 

I won't mess up any more than I already have, though. I will not be made a fool out of myself any more than I already had. 

I did not shed a single tear in front of anyone. I carried on with my life and daily activities as usual including my job at the cafe. I had three people depending on me. I couldn't afford to waste time grieving for a person that gave me nothing but pain. 

Hobi begged me multiple times to talk to him and get everything off of my chest, but I wouldn't listen. If this relationship was nothing to Namjoon, then I wasn't gonna hold onto it either. Not in front of anyone, at least. 

Despite my strong resolve in front of everyone. My feelings got the better of me when I was alone. I missed the scent of Namjoon's hair, the strong embrace of his arms, his beautiful dimples. Namjoon was so beautiful. 

Each second I spent in solitude suffocated me, but I only had myself to blame. I shouldn't have let myself indulge in feelings. 

But it was impossible not to. The feeling of being loved, cherished, wanted. 

I had spent my whole life existing for others. Caring for my mother, trying to provide for my family, protecting my brothers. Amongst all that when Namjoon made me feel like he existed for me it was impossible not to sink into the ocean of bliss.