You're Mine. Namjin

42

Trigger warning ⚠️ 
This chapter contains sensitive stuff, like sexual assault and suicidal thoughts. If this may trigger any depressive thoughts please don't read. I will explain this chapter in the Authors's note at the end plus I have some things I really want to address so please do read it!

Namjoon's POV

I knew I would lose Jin. I knew I would. It made no sense for a literal God like him to be with a worthless piece of shit like me in the first place. But I knew Jin would not put up with me for much longer. 

I chugged another glass of vodka down and winced as my throat burnt. Slumping I poured myself another glass as I barely managed to keep my ass on my chair.

"Sir, you've had quite a few drinks tonight. Do you perhaps want to consider going to bed now?" Clive asked.

I just groaned in response, because I was in too much pain to talk. He sighed and tried to pick up my bottles but I pushed him away. 

"Go away!" I choked and fell out of my chair, sobbing. Clive immediately rushed over to me, shocked at my outburst. He struggled to pick me up off the floor, especially with me flailing my arms around.  

"Dear Lord, how do I deal with this?" Clive muttered softly but I heard him anyways. Eventually, he gave up and left me alone. I continued drinking, trying to drown out the pain.

Flashback to the saturday that Namjoon was supposed to spend with Jin.

"Namjoonieeee! How sweet of you to cancel on Jin to spend the day with me." Jackson said as he grabbed my hand.

I slapped his hand off and went back to my documents.

I seriously regret the day Jackson walked into my life.

"Namjoon-ah!"

"Joon"

"Kim Namjoon!" Jackson screamed. I sighed and looked at him. Seriously!

"Are you gonna ignore me Joon? Don't you dare! You know I can ruin you in seconds." Jackson threatened.

As if you weren't already doing that.

"Yes I know ffs! God! What do you want! I literally cancelled on my boyfriend because you insisted on coming over. What more do you want?!" I huffed. I was so tired of his shit.

He looked at me dead in the eye as his face hardened.

"If I were you, I wouldn't use that tone with me. You wouldn't want Jin to know of your dirty little games." He snarled.

At this point I really just wanted to cry so fucking bad. I was so sick and tired of his blackmailing.

I pulled at my hair in frustration.

"Why are you doing this Jackson? Please just stop. If you want more money just take it and-"

"I already told you Namjoon. I want you. I'm willing to keep it a secret from your boyfriend because I love you so damn much. But if you keep treating me like this and hurting me, then trust me I'll tell Jin everything. You know I have proof.

"On top of that, I'll add so much more to it. I think its safe to say that Jin will trust me over anything you say."

Tears rushed down my face as I pictured Jin pushing me away, appalled.

He walked over to me and crouched down until his face was right opposite mine and I could feel his breath on my lips .

"Don't cry Namjoon. I know you don't hurt me on purpose. I forgive you." He said