You're Mine. Namjin

28

Namjoon's POV

I didn't know how to feel. I couldn't help the uneasiness running over my body. I looked at the woman lying in front of me- the woman that's responsible for ruining my life.

My mother.

Could I even call her that? She left me years ago. I cried, begged, promised to grow up and make her lots of money but she left. I promised myself that day to never see her again, but here I am, stood in front of her hospital bed, eyes locked with her beautiful green ones, pooling in tears. I felt numb. Really.

I just wanted to walk out of the room and pretend that she was dead already but something was stopping me from doing that. Now that I was here I might as well let her be happy, so I slowly walked over to the side of her bed and knelt down just to let her see me better.

I'm not sure why she wants to see me in the first place. That's not what she expressed when she left me and my father, but I just couldn't refuse to see her, when Jungkook called me saying she only has a few hours left.

I felt a nudge at my shoulder, bringing me out of my thoughts making me realise that the woman had her hand held out in front of me.

I hesitantly placed my trembling hand on top of her pale, lifeless one, to which she let out a shaky breath. I knew her condition was too bad for her to be able to speak, which actually made me more relieved than I was willing to accept. I knew that if she couldn't talk, I didn't have to talk either. I didn't have to listen to her pleas and sorries, empty or not, I didn't have to tell her that I forgave her.

She doesn't deserve to die in peace. Not after what she did to me.

Looking at her suffocated me. I wanted to run away and never look back but at the same time I wanted to scream, cry, yell- ask her why she left me, and then fall back into her arms like I used to when I was little.

Flashback

"No! I don't wanna." I shook my head and hid under the blanket.

"Namjoon baby, you have to drink it. How will you grow up to be a strong boy if you don't drink milk." My mom tried to convince me but I wasn't giving in.

"No! It tastes icky and it smells icky. Ewww! Take it and go away." I shouted from still under the blanket.

"Do you really want mommy to go away?"

I didn't say anything.

"Okay then, I'll go, but I won't come back." On hearing that my little heart started to hammer against my chest, but I was stubborn too, so I didn't budge.

But when I heard the sheets shuffle and felt the weight besides me go away I panicked.

Quickly throwing the blanket off me I looked around my dimly lit bedroom.

"Mommy?" 

I got off the bed, clutching my small stuffed bunny close to my chest and walked out into the hallway with small hesitant steps, looking for my mom.

I expected to find her in her office but she wasn't there. Her bedroom was empty too. So she had to be in the kitchen. But i couldn't find her there either. I couldn't find her anywhere. I felt hot tears stain my face as my small body started to shake because of my sobs.

She was gone...

"Mommy I'm so sorry. Please come back! I swear I'll be a good boy. I'll eat everything and do my homework and go to bed on time. I promise. I'm scared. Please I'm sorry." I started crying loudly and my vision started to blur.