Identity V x Reader

Aesop x depressed!reader || fluff

requested by: LattexNight
(This isn't great, but I hope you enjoy anyways!)

This deals heavily with topics of depression and light mentions of self-harm. Please do not read if you are sensitive to these topics, and if you ever need someone to talk to about your feelings, I'm always open. Remember that I love you, and others do too. You aren't alone.

It was a normal day for you. Well, it started off not-so-well. Early in the morning, you couldn't get up. Your mind slipped and you started yourself on a tangent of self-destructive thoughts. As much as you tried to shake the thoughts of going back to sleep and never waking up, what you truly wanted, you couldn't. Your mind raced through your hazy memories of life before the manor: everytime you told yourself that you would be better off dead, that no one cared about you. You think you tried to change these thoughts at some point, but after being forced through torturous games and the helplessness of not being able to do anything about your situation, you gave up again. You were late to breakfast; not being able to motivate yourself enough to get out of bed.

Sometimes, you wished the others knew your thoughts. You wished they knew how tired you were, and that them trying to force you into conversation only made you feel worse, but you weren't going to explain that to them. Here you were, swept up by Naib, Eli, and Emma, talking about something you accidently zoned out during, once again plagued by your own thoughts. It took Emma saying your name a few times to bring you back.

"(y/n)! Were you even listening? You've been acting kinda off today, are you ok?" She tried to reach for your arm, but you stepped back before she could, trying to regain your composure with a response.

"You said something about a new survivor, right? Sorry, my mind must have been somewhere else. I'm fine." You couldn't quite look her in the eyes, but you managed a superficial enough smile to get her off your back. Through your fatigue, you powered through her re-explanation of this new survivor, and ended with a request.

"I think you need to get your energy back up!" She said cheerfully. "Your job is going to be to take care of the newbie! Show them around and cheer yourself up!" And with that, you were dismissed.

You went straight back to your room, having cleared up that you had no matches for the day. You didn't want to be stuck in your room, already feeling bogged down again by the emotions you're only allowed to have in private, but you did not want to be out there. You distracted yourself by thinking of the new survivor. Emma told you nothing about them personally, as no one knew, but told you that they'd be arriving tomorrow. It wasn't even past afternoon, and you were already ready to go to sleep again. You decided on spending the day alone, to prepare for having to be around people for days for an indefinite amount of time. Where could you go that would have the least amount of people, or at least, somewhere other than your room that had someone you were ok with being around for a little while. You settled on the kitchen, where you would most likely be around Emily and Lucky, the two who are normally making meals. You could help them out while not having to make conversation, effectively keeping you distracted from feeling bad and feeling useful enough to keep around. When you arrived, only Emily was working to make lunch. You began to work beside her, her directing you to what she wanted you to do. You were pretty sure Emily knew how you felt, but never talked to her about your feelings. She would do everything in her power to keep you from feeling bad about yourself, to varying degrees of success, but you were appreciative of her effort, even though you felt bad that she was wasting her energy on you.

"Lucky is ill, in-case you were wondering." She spoke without warning. You nodded and continued your work, going still for a moment as she spoke up again. "I can tell you aren't feeling yourself today. If you want, I will put someone else on the job of taking care of the new survivor." You shook your head, giving yourself a moment to work up the ability to give her a proper response.