Sugar High

The Emotional Crisis

Slipping in through my front door, I kick off my heels from the night before and loosen the plait i had tied my curls into after they had caused Callan to scream out in frustration as position after position was interrupted by my hair falling into his face.

The 'date' had been so much more than I had imagined it would be but the night and morning between the sheets and against the cool surfaces of the hotel suite had reinforced my belief that there was an intimacy and fire between us that I couldn't just walk away from, but Cal was Cal and I know if I had any sense I would be running, screaming from him but instead I looked forward to the next time I would be screaming under him, or over him or bent over something for him

"Hey"

Taylor's voice breaks me from her Callan induced spell as I notice my roommate sitting on the sofa, her face pale and the circles under her eyes black

"You look like shit" I tell her whilst avoiding eye contact and kicking off my white skinny jeans that were now minus a button thanks to a very impatient Canadian.

Callan had promised me a shopping trip to replace the growing list of clothing he had destroyed in his eagerness to get home naked I had agreed to it but in all honesty I can buy my own clothes, I am just eager to spend some time with him somewhere other than a bedroom. To get to know the part of him that wasn't sex obsessed or at the mercy of his immence ego

"I didn't sleep very well last night"

"Yeah well, treachery will do that to you" I take off my black top and throw it towards the washing basket whilst picking up an oversized white t-shirt and grey track bottoms from the fresh laundry hamper and dressing with my back to the concerned looking blond

"Look Mila..."

"No thanks" I shoot back and then head towards my bedroom, flinging myself onto my bed and flicking through the playlist on my phone, trying to find some music that matches my mood, tired, satisfied, betrayed, defeated, inspired.

"Mila..." Taylor stands at the door, her eyes red and I feel the harshness I had promised myself would be my only remaining emotion for Taylor, begin to soften "Mila I'm so sorry"

"For?"

"Everything, more than I can ever say, things you wouldn't understand, things I don't expect you to forgive me for"

"Why the riddles? Just tell me the truth, that's all I have ever asked of you. You were my best friend and you just turned your back on me, threw me away like I never meant anything to you"

"It's not true"

"Did he pay you off?"

"Mila!" Taylor slaps her hands against her thighs in frustration,

"It's OK if he did, I know you struggle some times and he knows how to exploit people, if he caught you at a moment of weakness and you sold me out for my dads cash then it's fine, just say it, I would rather hear it from you than from him" I harden my chin, waiting to hear how much my friendship had been worth but tear after tear slips from Taylor's eyes as she shook her head in desperation

"It isn't about money Mila"

"It isn't? Then what is it about?"

"You don't want to know, believe me you don't"

"Of course I do" I push myself from my bed and stand right in front of Taylor, the look on my face daring my friend to lie "Whatever it is, it's costing me you so just tell me right now and we can fix this"

"We can't"

"Why don't you trust me?"

"It's me that shouldn't be trusted!!" wails Taylor "Oh Mila I'm so sorry, I am so, so sorry" and with that she disappears in a flash of blond hair, her bedroom door slamming shut behind her and the lock sliding across, keeping me out and Taylor and her secrets in.

Throwing myself back onto my bed, I let out a sob. Taylor's friendship was everything to me, it guided me, inspired me, without it I feel lost and off kilter but knowing i'm being kept in the dark about something that had broken out friendship is the last straw.

I grab my phone, wanting to call Callan, desperate to hear his voice, to let its softness slip over me and heal me but that isn't who Cal is, he isn't the type of guy to be there for me in an emotional crisis, he doesn't care about the state of my relationship with Taylor, he only cares about what colour underwear I am wearing.

Slamming my phone back down onto my duvet I bury my head in my hands. Maybe I should just cut both Taylor and Callan loose, that would be the smart move, I can't rely on either of them right now but God how I need them both, more than either seem to realise.