Sugar High

No Orgasm And No Ride Home

"What the fuck is that?!" Theo is staring daggers at my neck as he grabs my hair roughly and pushes it over my shoulder and then thumbs the purple bruise that I'm sure is shining at him like a little 'I fucked your girlfriend' badge

I look at him and don't really care to tell him that my Sugar Daddy gave me the mark whilst he had me pinned to the back seat of his limo and brought me so close to the edge by pretty much fucking me with his hard on that was still in his pants. I guess it's true what they say, there's no substitute for experience and Callan has more experience than most people would gain in 10 life times.

"Breakfast?" I ask, choosing to ignore the question all together

"Are you fuckin him now Mila?" he spits at me and I actually have to wipe droplets of saliva from my cheek

"I'm not" I say calmly, and honestly but he looks like he would believe I had grown a third leg more easily

"Then why's the piece of shit chewing on your neck?"

I spin to face him suddenly angry and I can't work out why

"Watch what you say Theo, that piece of shit paid last month's rent for you" I push past him but he grabs my arm and pushes his lips hard against mine, his hands grabbing my ass and grating my hips against his

"Ugh, no sexual favors in the kitchen children" Taylor's voice is a welcome repreive from the pawing I was getting and the way she looks at Theo makes me wonder how he hasn't spontaneously combusted under the weight of her gaze. She hates him but she loves me so she puts up with him but it has me asking myself why do I put up with him?

He's cute but he's a loser, he dropped out of high school and plays in a band, he's too busy playing video games all day to put any effort in to finding gigs or rehearsing so open mic nights are pretty much his Madison Square Garden.

I guess Theo is just another middle finger to my father and his expectations of me

"How was your date last night?" Taylor's talking to me but looking at Theo and the smirk she's wearing just causes his anger to rise

"In to the bedroom now!" He demands, talking my arm roughly in his grip

"Get off me!" I push him back with force but he keeps my hand tightly in his and before I know it Taylor has picked up my bowl of cereal and ditched it on his head. He quickly releases me as Taylor starts laughing hysterically and I gasp at the sight.

"One day I'm going to fuckin kill you Taylor!" he screams whilst scooping Cheerios from his hair

"Do it!" she yells back "Because I would rather be dead than have to listen to you grunting and groaning like a pig snuffling for truffles every morning. How Mila doesnt throw up down your throat when she's kissing you I have no Goddamn idea"

"Fuck you!"

"Bye asshole"

 He leaves, she knew he would, he always leaves after a confrontation with Taylor, usually because, as with today, she had completely humiliated him.

"Are we sacking him yet?" She asks whilst pouring me a new bowl of cereal, adding milk and plopping it down in front of me

"We're getting there" I reply whilst taking a long slurp of my coffee

"So, your getting more than money and gifts from Sugar Daddy Cal now I see" As she reaches out and touches the purple mark on my neck but I just shrug

"Did you have sex with him?" I shake my head as I take a bite of cereal "So the hickey is from..."

"Well it's from Cal, obviously, but I didn't fuck him. I mean, I probably would have because that man is an animal when he's turned on, he just about made me cum by just using the hard on in his pants. His hands and mouth are magic"

"And so you didn't have sex because.... You lost your freakin mind???" She grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me and we both start laughing.

"No, like I said I was almost there, teetering on the edge when he got a phone call and went into panic mode, next thing I know I'm ditched at the side of the road and he and the limo are driving away in to the night.

" He ditched you by the side of the road?"

"Just out side Jackson's, the hardware store. Do you know how far back here it is in heels?!"

"That guy's an asshole, tell him to stuff his money where the sun don't shine, you don't need that shit, no orgasm and no ride home? Forget him"

******************

Standing in the doorway of my home office, my large hands grip my coffee cup tight. This is my favourite room in the house, the place where I hide from the world when the stresses and strains of my high acheiving life become too much.

The walls are covered in framed photos of me and my family, my friends, the idols I have met, the places I have been, the magazine covers I had adorned

Yet here it all is, smashed beyond recognition, the frames twisted, the glass broken, my laptop lies on the floor broken beyond repair, my desk over turned every precious item destroyed by hurricane Carmen

I turn around and look to where she lies, fast asleep on the couch, her hands wrapped in bandages from where the glass had cut her as she took her revenge.

No second dates, it was an agreement between us, one that I had broken.

One of the wives had messaged Carmen to let her know I was there with a girl from the week before and it had been enough to send her spiraling.

Walking towards the sleeping woman, I can't help the emotions that twist in my gut. This is my girlfriend, someone I am supposed to treasure and care for and yet all I do is disrespect her and use her. It's a two way street, neither of us are innocent in the deception but this... Her body injured, her hair plastered to her head with perspiration.

What has happened to the girl I met in college? What has happened to us?

I can't remember the last time I looked at her as I am now and cared the way I do.

I can't go on the way I am, girl after girl, apology after apology, meltdown after meltdown.

Our relationship has become toxic and the toxicity is slowly killing us both