Is This Toxic?(Spencer Reid x Reader)

18) Him

TW: Mentions of rape, child abuse, suicide, language. If anyone feels that warnings should be added please let me know.

You stared into his dark eyes as he crept closer and closer to you. Truth be told you were scared. Yes, you had been kidnapped before. It's basically in your job description that it could happen to you, but you were fine with it. A couple of unsubs had managed to get their hands on you and do a little damage, but this one. There was no doubt in your mind that he would kill you.

The one name you didn't write down on that paper with your ex's. You didn't even think to add him. That's how sure you were that he couldn't get to you. You had forgotten to include the name of the man who almost ended your life because you had forced yourself to try to forget him. Yes, sometimes you would have nightmares. You talked to a therapist, and he said that they were memories of what happened.

Fun. You always thought to yourself. Not only did he torture you for years but the things you had managed to suppress during the day found their way out while you tried to sleep. It was hell, but you never told anyone. You never told your mom and dad that you got them. You never told any of your friends what had happened to you. You especially never told the BAU. As much as you loved them, they couldn't know.

You never told anyone. It was your deepest, darkest secret only you and people who had to know knew. That is until the Spencer incident. That's it. Spencer knew. He would figure it out eventually. You just had to stay alive long enough for that to happen.

You two were just staring at each other. Your eyes full of fear and his were full of life and happiness. He was having the time of his life. He loved this. He had been waiting years for this. And it was finally happening.

"My beautiful obedient little girl." He says stroking your hair, "I missed you. Did you know that?"

"Yeah well. I didn't miss you. Did you know that?" you hiss at him moving your head away from his hand.

"You little bitch! Don't disrespect me! You never used to do this, why are you doing it now? Huh, why are you so ungrateful?" he grabbed your face harshly so you would look at him.

"That little girl died a long time ago."

"Well, I still see her, so maybe this time she'll stay dead."

The color drained from your face as he let you go harshly. You knew that he was probably going to try and kill you again. You expected it in fact. But to hear him say it out loud made your stomach churn. You wanted to throw up just thinking about it.

"So, do you actually remember me honey? Or were you just mad I have you here." he asked you with a smug look on his face.

"I remember who you are. How could I ever forget."

"Oh, I like that answer. You always had a knack for telling me what I wanted to hear. So, do I need to remind you how we work, or do you also remember?"

"I'm not doing anything for you. You should be dead, not mom. She didn't deserve what you did to her." you say already crying from thinking about it.

"Your mother did that to herself. That's why it's called suicide. She did it herself."

"You drove her to it. You were an abusive asshole that never gave us a break."

"Did you forget what your mother let me do to you sweetheart? She let me do whatever I wanted to you. She let me touch you how I wanted, kiss you where I wanted, anything I wanted to do to you she allowed it. And do you want to know why? Because she was a bitchy slut who cared more about herself than she cared about her kid. But look how you turned out. You became an FBI agent, you got your own apartment, you have friends, and you even became like your mom. You got someone to fuck you when you were upset."