Don't Die On Me (Phan AU) {completed}

Chapter 2: strange feelings

*TRIGGER WARNING*

DANS POV:

"Come on Phil, get up!" I shout at him a little bit too harsh. I look in his deep blue eyes as he sits up from his bed. Something's wrong, he looks like he's been crying. What if it was about me?
"Phil, are you okay? You look like you've been crying," I say looking at all of his beautiful features. No, Dan, stop you can't keep thinking this way. Phil Is your friend, and nothing more. He looks up at me.
"Hm? No I-I'm fine" he whispers. I don't believe him, I've seen that look before.
"Don't lie to me Phil, I'm your friend, you can tell me why your upset" I say. He looks as though he is going to cry. He opens his mouth as if he is going to say something, then he just gets up and runs to the bathroom.
"Phil! Come back! I'm sorry!" I tell to him. I get up and run to the bathroom door, I can hear quiet sobs coming from the other side.
"Phil, please come out, you don't have to tell me what is wrong, but please just come back out" I beg almost on my knees.
"I will come out in 20 minutes or so, I am going to have a shower" he says sniffing and silently sobbing.
"Oh..um..ok. Just tell me if you need anything" I say worriedly. Then I walk slowly away from the door and into the kitchen. I hear a small rumble coming from my stomach. "Jeez, it's already 1 and I haven't eaten anything yet!" I say to myself quietly so Phil doesn't hear me. Phil. That is all I can think of. I put my hands on the counter and sigh. I need to stop with this love game, I need to move on and accept that Phil is straight and that I am in the friend zone, an there is no escaping that. I am bi, and I just wish I was normal and just liked girls, but I can't, I love Phil so much, I just can't accept it. I look down on the counter and see it. Just sitting there waiting for me. I pick it up and look at the utensil carefully and think back to all the times that I've cut. I bring it closer to my wrist, but was interrupted by my stomach growling again. I toss the knife back on the counter. No Dan! You are stronger than that! To distract myself, I get out a bowl and start to make pancakes for Phil and I. Maybe some pancakes will cheer him up, I think as I grab the flour and sugar from the cupboard, then placing them in the bowl. Why can't he just tell me what is wrong? I just want to help him! I just want to do whatever I can to make that boy happy. Because I love hi- no! I'm doing it again! I can't do it anymore! I need someone or something to distract me from Phil. Then it hits me. It's so simple! It has to work, it just has to! For that boy's sake.. it just has to work.

A/N
Oooh cliff hanger! Hope ya like the extra long chapter! I made it just for you lovelies! 😘 tell me what us think so far!