Contrary || l.p.

27. I Still Get Jealous

"If he's gonna be there, I'm not fucking going," Liam pouted at me as I continued dragging him to the music room.

It was lunch time, and I suggested that Liam and I spend time with my group, and he was getting angry that Isaiah was a part of this group of mine. We would have been there by now, but he kept stopping from walking, and I wasn't strong enough to pull or push him in any way shape or form.

I sighed. "Liam, seriously. You need to get used to seeing him around. He's my friend."

"Yeah, and your stupid ass ex boyfriend," he snapped harshly.

"You're being ridiculous. How many times am I going to tell you that I only want to be with you. Not him, you," I said, crossing my arms as I stopped in front of him.

He huffed and pouted. "That doesn't make a difference. I know he still wants you."

"And that changes my feelings about you, how?" I pointed out, trying to get him to come with me.

He stepped closer. "Jessie, I'm going to say this one more time. It's not your feelings for me that will make me change my mind. It's how he feels about you that's making me not want to go!"

I groaned and slapped my forehead. "He respects you and wants you to be with me as much as I do. Why can't you be civil, and do the same?"

"Because I'm a jealous asshole. Is that what you wanted to hear, Jess?" He crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"No."

"Then what do you want me to say?"

"I don't know!" I shouted at him and sighed.

"I don't get why you want me to go anyway," he tossed his arm up at me.

"Because," I whined and placed my hand on his arm to make sure he was paying attention, "I really like you, and I am willing to take on anything your friends throw at me. I was arrested because of them, for pete's sake," I reminded him with a dry scoff. "If you're not willing to accept what might be thrown at you, then..." My heart stopped beating as the words formed in my mouth. "I'm out."

A fearful emotion flashed in his eyes. "What?" he choked out.

"I want this to be equal for both of us; that means effort to face obstacles from both sides. One can't just take the easy way all the time. You can't just keep running away from your problems, Liam," I explained. "And problems are not something you have to face alone anymore. You have me. Does that mean nothing to you?"

He looked away, avoiding eye contact with me.

I sighed and tightened my grip. "I want to be with you," I said, trying to regain his eye contact, "more than anything, in fact. But I can't do that if you're not willing to be with me, and all that comes with me."

He tightened his jaw and let out a frustrated sigh. "Fine. Only because you're the one reason why I'm trying to stay sane," he huffed and slipped his hand into mine.

It surprised me how he softly slipped his hand into mine after looking like he was about to punch someone.

"Hey," he moved in front of me to meet my eyes. "What's wrong?"

I realized that I had a really confused look on my face, and that I had stopped walking.

"Oh," I began. "Sorry, I just..." I cleared my throat. "You looked like you were gonna hit someone, but you held my hand all cutesy and stuff..."

He sighed. "Just because I'm mad doesn't mean I'm going to physically hurt you," he said with a roll of the eyes. "I might say mean shit, but you have to know right now that I'm never gonna touch you if it's gonna hurt."