What if I ain't no violinist?

58. Twoset Zookeeper

Brett sat down with his cup of coffee as he opened up the papers that were in the "Ask a zookeeper" box at the zoo where he worked as a zookeeper.  Every week he would try to answer a few of these handwritten queries and display them in the zoo cafeteria.  His hand stopped at one particular piece of paper... he could have sworn he recognised the handwriting.

Dear Zookeeper,

I hesitate to hold hands with my boyfriend because I get sweaty hands and I'm really embarrassed about it.  Is this common in other animals?  Are there any solutions to my problem?

Edwina

Eddy..?

Most of these queries were written by young children or parents of young children. But every so often someone who seemed a bit older would write in a query and often these queries were asking for more than just answers about a zoo animal but about human traits and behaviours. Brett found these queries fascinating. After all, we're all just animals. He smirked as he started writing his reply.

Dear Edwina,

Thank you for writing to "Ask a zookeeper".

Sweating is actually an extremely advanced function for body temperature control, limited to only a small number of animal species including humans.  So having sweating palms is actually a privilege!

We unconsciously sweat when we feel hot or when our body temperature rises when we exercise in order to cool down and lower our body temperature.

Horses and hippos are known to sweat as well but for most other animals, while they do have sweat glands, they are not well developed and do not have the ability to sweat large quantities in order to control their body temperature.

Now, in regards to sweaty palms, this is a remnant feature of our ancestors who were tree-dwellers, you see, it was important to have sweaty hands when they were nervous so that they could get a better grip and not fall out from trees.  I regret I could not find you a solution against this physiological trait that has lasted a good several millions years of evolution.

Perhaps you have just started dating this special gentleman and are nervous to hold his hand?  Sweaty palms are the symbol of human evolution and youth, the springtime of life.  If your boyfriend has any interests in animals, please tell him so as you hold his hand and enjoy this precious moment. When he understands the biology behind your sweaty palms, he may find it quite adorable that you are nervous or excited to hold hands with him.

Your friendly zookeeper, B

Brett met up with Eddy at the zoo cafeteria at the end of his shift.  Eddy stood in front of the notice board and blushed upon seeing Brett.  Brett let out a smile.

"Hi, Edwina."

"Sh*t, Brett, you worked it out that it was me."

"I recognised your handwriting, Eddy."

"Oh my god"

"...So did you like the reply?"

Eddy smiled.

"...Yeah. Thanks."

"So.. shall we get going then, Eddy?"

Brett held out his hand.

"..Okay."

They left the zoo cafeteria holding hands.