What if I ain't no violinist?

67. Twoset Clairvoyants II

Brett wailed.

"But I don't wanna be a wizard...!!"

"OFFS Brett, you're not picking a Halloween costume!!! The alternative is to be turned into a rooster !! Is that what you want ??"

"No, neither of those options are appealing to me !! I just want to stay as my human self with my modest ability as a clairvoyant!!! By the way, how come a rooster? I thought I'd be turned into something like a rat."

"Sure, it would've been a rat if I was born in 1996."

"WTF why does it follow the Chinese zodiac??!!"

"Um... hello? Maybe because of my heritage ?"

"That's so f*cking random, too!! Aaaaarrrgh how did it all come down to this ?!?!?"

"I'm so sorry Brett, but you have a very rare blood type and I was your only match nearby..."

'So you gave me your wizard blood?"

"Yes."

"F*ck. How come you never told me you were a wizard !?!?"

"It's not something that's easy to bring up casually as dinner conversation. Oh, Brett by the way I think I should tell you that I'm actually a wizard and I've been faking to be a clairvoyant, using my magic spells instead..."

"Well I actually may have appreciated it if you had brought it up sometime in the last 15 years I'd known you and especially in the last 5 years we've been...together..!!!  Why didn't you come out to me that you were a wizard when I did with my clairvoyance?!?!?"

"Okay, I'm sorry... would it had made any difference on your decision to be with me had you known I was a wizard?"

"Of course bloody not !!!"

Brett didn't miss a beat to answer.

"Awww Brett.."

Eddy smiled and moved in closer to hug Brett.

Unfortunately, Brett wasn't in a forgiving mood yet so he flapped his arms around and shooed Eddy away.

"But I would have bloody appreciated it if you told me something this big!!"

"It really isn't... Look at how a brilliant clairvoyant you are.  And I'm only half wizard anyway.. my dad's a muggle."

"...What on earth is a muggle?"

"A non-wizard, plain human...geez Brett, haven't you ever read Harry Potter?"

"You read Harry Potter !?"

"Well... I like reading.. and it's been endorsed by our WCC.. um.. Wizard Cultural Committee .. as a pretty accurate portrayal of us..."

Brett raised an eyebrow.

"Eddy, it never ceases to amaze me that we have the most bizarre conversations but this one takes the cake."

"Look Brett, roosters have such a short lifespan. I could make you an immortal rooster but I prefer you in a human shape.. specifically the way you are now. So, please choose to be a wizard and I'll teach you how to control your spells so that you don't accidentally turn me into something ridiculous like a doorknob."

"I can do that?"

"Yes but most likely you wouldn't know how to turn me back so I'm begging you to promise me that you won't attempt such random things."

"Holy f*ck, no. No, no, no, no and no!! I can't trust myself with powers like that.  I wouldn't be able to cope with this."

"...You're right Brett, no offence but you'd make a sh*tty wizard."