A Functionally Dysfunctional Family

{22} ℕ𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕒𝕝 {22}

"You look young," Techno commented once the three of them were settled.

Currently, Techno was sitting on a chair, Ranboo in a chair across from him. Michael sat on the floor nearby, playing with the polar bear that's apparently his—Techno's—pet and also named Steve.

"Uh, thanks, I guess. I mean, I'm right in-between Tubbo and Tommy in regards to age, so..."

"So...how old are you, then?"

"In this world? In my early twenties. In your world, however...I'm guessing I'm still about seventeen."

"Papa!" Michael chirped, running up to Ranboo, hugging his abnormally long leg.

"Hey, little guy." Ranboo greeted, picking up the piglin toddler. "Can you say hi to uncle Technoblade?"

"H-hi..." Michael said shyly, doing a little baby wave to Techno.

"Hi, Michael." Techno gave the toddler a warm smile, causing Micheal's face to light up.

"Uncy Bade!"

Techno chuckled, picking up the toddler. "You are adorable."

"Wow, Techno, I didn't think you were the type to like kids," Ranboo commented as Micheal played with Technos braid.

"I'm usually not," Techno said as he booped Micheal's snout, laughing softly. "Boop."

"Boop!" Micheal giggled as he booped Techno's nose. "Boop Boop!"

The piglin toddler and the piglin adult took turns booping each other's noses, all while Ranboo was laughing his ass off.

~<•>~

"—and that's why we now have modern medicine, such as vaccines." Tubbo tuned in after hours of zoning out. "You understand that?"

"Do you think you'll ever have kids?" Tubbo asked Ranboo instead.

"Um, I don't know...? Not planning it in the next year or anything."

Tubbo giggled. "No, not anytime soon. I mean in the future."

Ranboo shrugged. "I don't think so...I can't even take care of myself half the time, let alone a miniature version of me that is even more demanding."

"Neither can Wilbur, yet he had a kid."

Ranboo chuckled. "I don't think I've met your friends, actually."

"I think you've met Tommy, but I don't think anyone else." Tubbo hummed. "I think you'd like the older ones—Wilbur and Techno, I mean."

"Which one is Tommy, again?"

"The loud shouty blond that likes to curse out the teacher."

"Ah, him. I'm surprised that he hasn't gotten in trouble for that yet."

"Oh, you have no idea."

~<•>~

"Alright, do we have everything?" Phil asked Techno, looking at their supplies. "No one knows where Dream is, so it may take days, weeks, months, even years to find him."

"Well, that's reassurin'."

Phil hummed. "Very. Now, do you remember how to use a sword? There's going to be dangerous creatures around once night falls, and it's good to know how to use a sword."

"I knew how to use a sword?"

"Of course you did, mate! You were the greatest warrior this land has ever known!"

Techno felt his cheeks redden from the compliment. "I mean, I can try. Muscle memory, ya know?"

Phil nodded, grabbing a sword from his sheath. He recognized the dark purplish metal from his own blade.

"This metal is called Netherite. It's a very rare and valuable metal. It makes your blade immune to lava, making it impossible to melt. It's also a very strong material, making it able to properly wound your enemies, possibly even killing them in one hit if you know where to strike." Phil explained. "But, for the sake of sparring, we're not going to be using these. Instead, we'll be using these wooden swords to spar, since I am on my last life and I don't want to die on accident."

Techno nodded, taking the wooden sword Phil gave to him.

"Now, to see if you still remember how to properly fight, I'm not going to explain anything. I want to see what you know. Now, hold the blade."

Techno moved the blade to his dominant hand, holding onto the handle tightly.

"Good! Now, try to attack me."

As if someone else took control of him, he swung the blade towards Phil, putting enough force to bruise or possibly scratch him, but not enough to cause any actual damage.

Of course, Phil blocked the attack, but that didn't stop Techno swinging several more times.

"Looks like muscle memory proved you right."

~<•>~

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