A Functionally Dysfunctional Family

{2} Musical Pancakes {2}

Phil sighed as he watched the sleeping toddler, cuddled up in the blankets beside him, snuggling his arm.

It was at this point that he noticed the fucking dog collar around the poor piglin's neck.

Poor kid...

Moving slowly enough to not wake the sleeping toddler, Phil swiftly undid the collar using his free hand, and brought the tag up to the dim light on the bedside lamp.

"Technoblade" is all it said. No last name or anything. Was that even an actual name? It was almost like the bastards were treating him like a fucking pet.

He flipped the tag over, hoping for some good at least.

"06/01/99"
"M"
"Pig-human thing"
"If you find him, keep him. We don't fucking want him."

Phil felt his blood boil. How could someone be so cruel to a child that didn't even deserve it!?

...why did he even care...? Nothing is stopping him from killing the child right now.

.....so why couldn't he bring himself to do it....?

~<•>~

June 1st, 2001. Techno is now officially two years old, and also learning to talk.

Of course, he already knew a few words, such as "cup", "food", and "fuck" (thanks to Phil's very colorful and totally family friendly language), but he was now at the stage where he was starting to form somewhat cohesive sentences.

Phil laughed a bit as Techno ran up to him, hugging his leg. "Well, good morning, birthday boy." He said as he made breakfast.

"I hungry..." The piglin complained, digging his face in the back of Phil's knee, making the Angel laugh, picking up the two-year-old.

"I know you're hungry. How about some pancakes for breakfast?" He asked, earning a nod from the toddler.

The good thing about piglins is that they're omnivorous, so Phil didn't have to worry about feeding Techno only meat or only vegetation (such as fruit, vegetables, berries, etc.). He still tried to avoid anything pork for obvious reasons though.

"Pan...cake..." Techno said, making Phil nod.

"Uh-huh, and later you'll get an actual cake!"

The pink haired toddler gasped, his amber eyes lighting up. "Really!!!"

Phil laughed at the toddlers tone, and silently wished that he could be a toddler forever.

Phil set Techno down as he heard a knock on the door. "I'll be back in a sec, okay?"

Techno nodded as he ran off to play with a toy he had laying around. Phil laughed as he opened the door, being greeted by the Angel (he should really learn his name) and a boy who looked to be about five or six.

"Morning, Phil." The Angel greeted.

"Good morning, uhm.....Angel....."

The Angel rolled his eyes. "This here is Wilbur. This here is all the information you'll need for him." He gave Phil a slip of paper. "Good luck."

In a ball of light, the Angel disappeared, leaving Phil with the child. He had fluffy brown hair that had a slight curl at the end, which was also slightly parted to the side. He had equally dark, if not darker, eyes. He wore a mustard yellow sweater that looked to be a size or two too big for him, paired with black jeans. He looked up at Phil with a shy smile.

"H-hi." He mumbled. He had an audibly British accent.

"Hi, Wil!" The blond greeted. "I'm Phil! I'm about to make breakfast, are you hungry?"

The brunette nodded shyly. It was at this moment that Phil saw the suitcase that sat right next to the boy (who was also already about half his height, despite being only five). The fallen Angel grabbed the, surprisingly heavy, case and led the boy inside.

"Make yourself at home." The blond gestured towards the couch, which currently was occupied with Techno and his pig plush. "That there is Techno, your brother, I guess."

The piglin looked up at the mention of his name, his amber eyes immediately catching on to the boy.

"B...boy." The piglin said, pointing to the brunette. "Boy!"

Wilbur smiled, waving shyly, which caused Techno to smile widely and do his baby wave back, making Wilbur giggle at the toddler.

Phil smiled softly at the two as he made his way back into the kitchen, reading the information the Angel gave him.

Name: Wilbur (Wil)
Sex: Male
Date of Birth: 09/14/96
Nationality: British
Gift: Music
Expected years (estimated): 69

Phil pocketed the information as he started on breakfast, it already being 10am at this point.

~<•>~

Phil realized that the Angel was right when he said that the boy was given the gift of music, especially when he heard the boy play a small ukulele sing to the amazed toddler.

He called the two boys to the table as he finished making breakfast.

Maybe it'll be simple. They already seem to get along just fine.

~<•>~

812 words

Hi, future Luna here! I literally forgot how much fun it is to write toddlers until I started writing my daycare au. I mean, I'm pretty sure this version is more accurate to how irl toddlers talk but shhhh