Memories

save your tears

The same thing went on for weeks. I would make my way through the halls, trying to make it through each day. Occasionally I would go up to the roof and talk with Cameron. Or I would hang out with Naia. But I was mostly on my own.

One day I went up to the rooftop and found something surprising.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Cameron was sitting on the floor balled up and crying.

"Yeah..."

He wiped his eyes and stood up.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"I know something's up. People don't cry the way you are right now unless there's something wrong. It's just how things are."

"It's nothing, AJ. I'll just go now."

"No."

"What?"

"Stay. Talk about it. You helped me with my problem. I'll try to help you with yours."

"Really?"

"Yeah. We're friends."

"It's my dad. He's been leaving a lot. He's doing things, things I can't even talk about. He and my mom fight about it. They're always fighting. And when he gets mad at her, he takes it out on me. I just need a break."

He continued sitting there crying.

"I'm sorry to hear that. It's going to be okay. They're just having a bad few years."

"Yeah, I don't think it works like that."

"Me neither, but sometimes it's best to think it does."

We sat there for a while. Just staring at each other. It wasn't like how I'd ever seen him before. He was always so strong. But now to see him cry like this, it was so different.

"AJ?"

"Yeah?"

"I think my dad's going to leave."

"Why would you think that?"

"I don't know. Just because."

"Maybe he won't."

I had no clue how to help him, so I just decided to listen and try to be encouraging.

"I think he will. But I won't mind. If he's gone I can live in peace."

"Sure."

"But then I bet I'll miss him."

"You probably will."

"Do you miss your dad?"

"Yeah, sometimes. He was a really good dad. But then finding out that he had this other side. I don't know."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm used to him being gone by now."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean it's been four years. A third of my life. He's just like that guy that's gone. I don't really even care anymore."

"I hope I feel that way about my dad someday."

"I hope you don't."

"Oh, I didn't..."

"It's nothing."

We talked for a little while longer about our parents and dads. Eventually he looked like his normal self.

"Thank's AJ. You really helped."

"No problem. School was over and I'd rather talk with you than be at home. Besides, I'm your friend. We help each other."

"Yeah, my friend."

Then we hugged. It seemed like the best thing to do. He needed that kind of comfort right now. And though people like Lizzie would find it all lovey for boy and girl to hug, I didn't care.

"Let's get to class."

"Yeah."