Dear diary

Overthinking

" Ava! Come back here! " I yelled as she stole my favourite sweater to 'borrow' it and I know how her borrow is, its just like my borrow.

As in never returning things, well at least some times even I do return stuff but Ava, never!!!

" No running in the house!" Mom yelled as she applied butter on our sandwich.

" 2 days ago you even said no yelling in the house and here we are" dad said mocking mom as we laughed.

" Honey, whose side are you on here?" Mom said looking at him.

" Always yours darling! Always yours " Dad said kissing her as he grabbed a toast.

" Dad?! How mean! I thought we agreed you were on our side!" Ava said and then folded her hands and pouted.

" There's my little girl" he said picking her up as she laughed.

They are so silly sometimes.

" Guys, don't forget, family dinner next week and you all, need to be there!" She said looking over at me.

" What? It's a meal, any meal and I'm gonna be there. Plus family dinner right? So that meansss"

" Yes, Aliya will be there." Mom said giving me the sandwich as I cheered.

" Yay! Aliya is coming? That's gonna be a blast!" Ava said happily as she bit into her sandwich.

" How are college applications going Brooke? I'm sure you are ahead of things so we don't have to get involved in it..." dad asked.

" Yup! Um totally ahead of it!" I kinda lied. " I have applied to all my top choices a long time ago... I'm just waiting to here from them."

" You even have to go see Caltech dear so you wouldn't have to go anywhere far for college " mom reminded.

" Oh yes, I uh didn't forget I just haven't gotten the time lately school and stuff " I lied.

How much are you going to lie? It is true that they say, you need to lie to cover up a lie.

Urgh! Chill already, I'm gonna tell them... soon.

" What school stuff I mean this is your senior year I get that you have a lot of assignments but you're waiting back after school almost everyday now, any reason why?" Mom asked.

" Uh..." I said as I couldn't think of anything.

" Mom! We're gonna be late!" Ava yelled from right next to me.

" Oh right, Come on" she said getting her car keys.

" You're welcome." Ava whispered to me as she waved goodbye to us.

" So anything special going on?" Dad asked flipping through the newspaper.   " Everyone deserves to here your voice."

Oh my god! Does he know?

What? That you stole his pen? Or that you were the one who actually broke his vine bottle?

No! That I sing.

No no no no no this can't be happening!

" What? A great voice?" I fake laughed." Why would everyone want to hear me singing? What pfffttt" I scoffed.

" Uh who said anything about singing? I am talking about you winning that debate" He said. " You got some great skills for making it as a lawyer but let me tell you, there's nothing like astronomy." He chuckled.

" Oh right, that debate thing, it was nothing dad I just really believed in what I was talking about so I did"

" Well, I'm glad. You should always stand up for what you believe." He said closing the newspaper. " Don't you have school?" He asked looking at his wrist watch.

" Yeah, um going... uh right now." I said grabbing my bag and keys as I went in the garage.

Stand up for what I believe in? I really should do that but would you really like to hear what I want to do? I asked myself and already knew the answer was no!

Obviously he was never going to listen, he always knows what's best for me right? Well guess what? He doesn't.

Urgh!

On the bright side Aliya is coming to town in a week! I'm so excited!

Each year we have this family dinner, just the 5 I mean uh um 4 of us and Aliya and her parents. Its like a post Christmas tradition. We've been doing that since a really long time since we don't really spend Christmas with each other. Last year we went to Virginia and now it's their turn to come over here.

" Clothes?" She asked.

" Oh Diana, they're called costumes dear how many times do I need to correct you?" I asked.

Ms. Lela appointed me a sorta assistant so she can be on track. I mean me and Josh were basically doing everything.

Making the cast learn lines, teaching them the coreo, getting rehearsals done.

" Oh my god guys!! " Darby said making a grand entrance.

Confetti came out of nowhere.

" I got accepted guys!!  I can't belive New York wants me!!" She said hugging Ms. Lela.

" Wow, well done dear that's great news!! Congratulations!!"

" Thank you so much!! Thank you guys." She said looking around at everyone as they all clapped and cheered.

" When did you get the email? " Josh asked.

" Like yesterday!! It's so crazy, hey Brooke? Didn't you apply there too?" She asked.

" Yeah... I did.." I sighed.

" Didn't you hear back?"

" Um... "

" Anyway you guys have fun, I'm gonna go tell everyone!!" She screamed as she left the room.

" Didn't you apply too?" Bianca asked looking at me.

" I did, I don't wanna talk about it." I said grabbing my back and leaving.

" O....kay.." she replied.

I didn't hear back. I was probably not accepted. I don't know what to do in my life anymore.

What if I'm really not accepted in any of my choices?

What am I supposed to do? I can't just not go to college!

I guess then I'll have to just go astronomy I'm sure dad will be very happy about that! Except, I haven't been attending any astronomy related lessons so I've zero clue what's going on and what's it all about!!

Urgh.

Maybe I could do a business major! Start my own business, that sounds pretty good right?

You're doing that thing again!

What thing?

Being me! Acting like me! Overthinking!

That! Right, well then what else am I supposed to do? Almost everyone is hearing back from universities.

Just try and maybe breath for now?

Yeah that seems like a good place to start.

Deep breaths Brooke, deep breaths.