❛ SUPERMARKET FLOWERS ♪ ❜ - z. herron

thirty: christopher wilde put you in a cuddly mood?

As Nate and I drive out of the city, the lights slowly dim. It's about 7 pm, and the late fall air is causing my cheeks to flush. He wanted us to drive separately. He said it had something to do with the "experience", whatever that means. As he pulls over at a stop, I pull over with him, parking my car. He gets out his hands stuck in his pockets. I walk out, hands open to give him a hug and he walks right into them, hugging me tight.

"I brought us food." He says, jogging to his car. I walk over to the hood of the car to lean against it.

"Wow, my own food delivery service." I laugh as he hands me a container. I open it to smell the best pasta I think I've ever smelt. "Did you make this?" I ask, pointing at the container.

"Yeah, I did." He says with a smile, handing me open sparkling water.

"Okay so explain yourself." I say, taking a sip and placing it down on the hood, looking out to the skyline.

"I just didn't know what to say to you. I wanted to talk to you, I really did, but I didn't know what to say." He says, but his tone doesn't have the slightest hint of sincerity. "That's why I took that extra week."

"So you decided to do nothing?" I say, continuing to eat, but I feel sick to my stomach the more he talks.

"Kira, you know I'm not good at this. You're my first real love and I just don't know how to do this. I know I'm a trash boyfriend but-"

"Okay fine I believe you." I breathe out; I just want to pass this, him guilting and me missing him.

"Okay, thank you." He replies. I look at him, and he leans down to kiss me. As I go in to grab his face, he pulls away, almost cringing at my touch.

He tried to kiss me but couldn't. Was I that revolting?

"Before we do any of that, I need to talk to you."

"Um, okay." I say, dropping my hands, "Did something happen?"

"Kind of." he says, looking at the floor and looking back at me.

"I think we should stop being us, at least for a month." he gestures between space in between us. I blink, shaking my head, and I start to laugh because you are fucking kidding me.

After giving me a whole speech on why he didn't talk to me, then trying to kiss me, and then he pulled away, at the end of all that, I get this? I might as well have been on a rollercoaster by my emotions.

"Why?" I let out a laugh.

"I realized these 3 weeks made me more productive, more happy, sober even."

"Wasn't he at Sigma Nu's halloween party? I saw Ricky's story and he was in it, the day right before halloween." I question internally.

I let him continue. "I need more time to put myself together so I can be a better man for you. Give me a month and then I'm all yours."

"So you're breaking up with me?" I ask, confused with what he wants.

"No, don't think of it like that." he says, rubbing both my arms, "It's just time for us to grow, become better people for each other."

"Okay..." I reply.

"I love you. BYE." He yells, stepping into his car. My feet are planted deep into the ground as the chilly air around me blows.