Who Would Have Thought

Chapter 13

"I want to go home," Derek whined to Meredith, banging his head against the wall.

"Are you trying to give me a surgery," she giggled.

"Maybe."

"It's not that bad, Der," she rolled her eyes as she tapped her pen against the chart in front of her.

"It is that bad," he sighed. "I'm exhausted. My head hurts. And today is tediously boring."

"Your head probably wouldn't hurt if you didn't bang it against walls," she pointed out.

"Shut up."

"I mean, shaving your head and giving you a craniotomy would relieve my boredom," she smiled. "But...brain bleeds tend to be bad."

"Oh you just want to shave the hair off," he groaned.

"The nurses would probably kill me."

"I would probably kill you."

"Then stop banging your head against the wall."

"But at least it means I'm doing something," he sighed. "Why is no one smashing their heads in?"

"That's a terrible thing to say, Derek," she giggled.

"You were thinking it."

"Maybe," she shrugged. "You've been in a mood all day."

"I have not."

"You have been," she nodded. "What's up?"

"Nothing," he sighed. "I don't know."

"You're usually the one talking about how at least it means an early night."

"It does," he nodded. "But you know those days you just feel the need to cut?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "Those are usually really crap days. So what's your deal?"

"I honestly don't know," he sighed. "I'm just antsy or something."

"We could always hurt an intern," she offered. "Or that nurse."

"What nurse?"

"The one with the candy addiction."

"Oh her," Derek laughed. "What is with that?"

"She's twelve," Meredith giggled. "And then the ring thing..."

"She told you about the ring around her nexk too? It's creepy."

"I made the mistake of asking."

"Why did you do that?"

"I thought she was married," she shrugged. "I asked about her husband and...yeah...mistake."

"Definitely," Derek laughed. "But seriously? You want to hurt her?"

"For a brain surgery?"

"Might be worth it. But than we'd have to save her. And I don't think I'd want to."

"Derek!" she gasped. "Mean...that's...mean and wrong and bad."

"You're the one that wants to hurt her," Derek pointed out.

"For your sake," Meredith insisted. "You're the one hitting your head against a wall out of boredom."

"True," he sighed. "I want to go home and fish."

"If a trauma comes in, you won't get to."

"You can take it."

"Awww, thanks, Der," she smiled, resting her head on his shoulder briefly.

"I just want to go fishing," he laughed softly, resting his head on hers.

"Grey!" Mark's abrupt voice interrupted them.

"Oh god," Derek groaned, pulling his head away from Meredith's.

"Grey," Mark walked up behind them, a tight smile on his lips. "Meredith."

"Mark," Meredith greeted, frowning slightly.

"You're uh...looking hot today," Mark said, swallowing slightly. "I like the ponytail."

"You...what?"

"And the scrub top," Mark nodded. "It...always had a nice rack, Grey."

"Mark, what's up?" Derek frowned.

"Nothing's up," Mark shook his head. "What are you doin' tonight, Grey...Meredith?"

"No...nothing," Meredith sighed. "Why?"

"Addie and I are going out tonight," Mark nodded. "I thought maybe...you could join us. Double date kind of thing."

"I could...what?"

"Double date."

"With you?"

"Me and Addie...and a date."

"A date?"

"Yes, Grey, a date," Mark snapped.

"What are you up to?" Derek frowned, grabbing Meredith's arm.

"I'm not up to anything," Mark shook his head. "You're right, she's a colleague."

"I'm right and suddenly you want to go out with her?" Derek frowned.

"I'm not going out with her. Addison and I are goin' out with her and her date."

"Who's my date?" Meredith asked.

"You already know him," Mark grinned widely.

"I do?"

"Well, you're already seeing him," Mark shrugged.

"I'm not seeing anyone."

"That's not what I heard, Grey," Mark winked.

"What?" Derek asked.

"It's all over the hospital," Mark shrugged.

"Who Mark?" Meredith groaned.

"Karev! Addie!" Mark suddenly call, waving over Alex and Addison.

"I have no idea what's going on," Derek sighed as Meredith looked at him with wide eyes.

"Addie," Mark grinned, pulling Addison close to him and giving her a firm kiss on her lips.

"Mark, what the hell are you doing?" Addison asked.

"I'm kissing you," Mark smiled against her lips. "And inviting Grey and Karev out with us tonight."

"I heard from Alex," Addison nodded. "Why?"

"Why not?" Mark shrugged.

"You hate Meredith. And Alex."

"Shep was right though. I have to respect them as colleagues."

"Colleagues, yes," Addison nodded. "But out for dinner?"

"I'm getting to know my colleagues," Mark nodded.

"No, I know what you're doing," Addison rolled her eyes.

"I'm not doing anything."

"Mark!" Derek suddenly gasped. "Seriously?"

"What?" Meredith turned to Derek. "What?"

"He thinks those two are sleeping together so he's trying to hook you up with Karev," Derek rolled his eyes.

"What?" Meredith and Alex both gasped.

"I know, it's idiotic," Derek nodded.

"That is not the case," Mark shook his head. "I don't think Addison and Karev are screwing. Not since I heard Grey and Karev are screwing."

"Grey and Karev are screwing?" Derek laughed. "And you didn't tell me, Mer?"

"We're not..." Meredith shook her head, the frown deepening. "Alex...I mean, we're not."

"She turned me down enough already," Alex shrugged.

"Well, that's not fair, Grey," Mark shook his head, clapping Alex on the back roughly. "Karev here looks like a nice guy."

"Mark, you're not using Meredith for your own twisted shit," Derek sighed.

"I'm not using her," Mark shook his head. "I'm seeing the attraction here. Obviously Karev's into her."

"No, not really," Alex shrugged.

"Come on, Karev, she's hot," Mark nodded towards Meredith. "Nice rack on her."

"She has a nice rack but she's a friend," Alex frowned. "She's basically a dude. Hot but a dude."

"Thanks, Alex," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"If you're interested I can change my mind," Alex smirked.

"She's interested," Mark nodded. "You're interested, right, Grey? Karev...nice guy."

"I'm definitely not interested, Mark," Meredith sighed.

"That's mean, Grey."

"It's true."

"Come on, Grey, give the guy a chance," Mark grinned, pulling Addison close to him.

"We're friends, Mark."

"Addie and I were friends," Mark grinned. "You know what they say about friends."

"Alex and I are friend friends," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"One date, Grey. Could work out well for you."

"I'm not going on a date with Alex."

"Karev, ask her out," Mark waved his hand.

"I'm not asking Grey out," Alex frowned.

"We're just friends, Mark," Meredith sighed, leaning into Derek slightly.

"Mark, let it drop," Derek sighed. "Plan failed."

"There was no plan," Mark frowned. "Helping out my colleagues."

"Of course," Derek nodded. "They don't want it."

"Well, fuck," Mark cursed as he stomped away, rubbing his hand across his face.

"Sorry guys," Addison sighed. "I have no idea what's going on with him."

"He was...was he really being nice to me or does he...I mean, he's not trying to do some Mark Sloan style something?" Meredith frowned.

"Definitely some Mark Sloan style something," Addison sighed.

"Okay," Meredith nodded slowly, leaning closer into Derek.

"He's an idiot," Derek sighed, his hand going to Meredith's back.

"Obviously," Addison sighed. "I should go make sure he isn't doing something stupid. Alex, meet me in the NICU in twenty minutes?"

"Sure," Alex nodded.

"Thank you," Addison nodded. "Sorry again, guys." She turned and walked quickly away.

"Does Sloan actually thinking I'm doing his woman?" Alex asked.

"Apparently," Meredith sighed as Derek rubbed her back.

"Nice," Alex grinned. "See you guys later."

"Bye, Alex," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"You okay?" Derek asked as Alex walked away.

"I'm good, Der," she nodded. "It's just...that was weird."

"It was. Even by Mark Sloan standards."

"Completely...he was being nice to me. And trying to set me up with Alex. Which, I mean, two days ago he wouldn't even talk to me. Or look at me. And now he's trying to set me up with Alex."

"I'm not surprised he's pawning off Alex," Derek sighed. "But to you...wierd."

"Completely. Of course, half the hospital is off limits since they already slept with him."

"True."

"But just...weird. Very, very weird," Meredith sighed and then looked up at him. "Maybe he hit his head. Needs surgery."

"Oh I like the way you think," he grinned.

"Then we can shave his hair and not yours."

"No one will care if we shave his hair."

"Maybe Addie."

"She'd probably laugh."

"I can't believe you're supporting shaving your best friend's head."

"I'd give up fishing for the day if I got to mess in Mark's brain."

"You would do terrible things."

"I couldn't mess it up more."

"True," she giggled.

"Could be worth it," he sighed.

"Could be."

"Anything is better than shaving this hair."

"I'm so sorry I ever suggested it," Meredith giggled. "Just stop banging your head against walls."

"I'll try," he laughed.

"Good," she smiled, putting her chart back and leaning against the nurse's station next to him.

"I just wish we had something to do," he sighed.

"This is a hospital," Meredith frowned. "There are sick people here. We shouldn't be bored."

"It's wrong to be bored," he nodded.

"When I was an intern, I stole patients from the pit."

"You did?" he laughed.

"When I was bored, yes," she giggled.

"Want to go steal a patient from the pit?"

"What if they're not a neuro patient?" she laughed as she started walking away.

"We can practice our skills at something else," he shrugged.

"I'm a neuro fellow, Der. You're the next head of neuro."

"And?"

"We're seriously going to go steal a patient from the pit?"

"Why not?"

"No reason," she laughed. "Come on then."

"Coming," he laughed.

"And if worse comes to worse, we can always kidnap Mark and run those tests on him," Meredith giggled as her hand brushed Derek's.

"Good idea," Derek smiled.

"Definitely," she mirrored his smile.

"Definitely," he echoed.