Who Would Have Thought

Chapter 18

Derek Shepherd was nearly forty years old. He was going to be head of one of the best neurosurgery programs in the country in a couple of months. He was beginning to be known as one of the go to neurosurgeons on the west coast. He had it together. He was an adult. He was nothing like the dorky guy he had been in high school. And right now he had butterflies in his stomach.

He had spent the last two hours staring at his entire wardrobe, his hands shaking as he moved through each of his shirts, trying to figure out what to wear. Which made him feel like a girl. But this was his first date with Meredith. First date after nearly thirteen years of not seeing each other, not speaking to each other, hating each other. Tonight had to be perfect.

She wasn't sure she wanted this. He had to prove to her she wanted this. Because he wanted this. He couldn't believe how much he wanted the second chance with her. Thirteen years of hating someone and he still couldn't imagine being with anyone but her. So this had to be perfect. Tonight had to prove to her that they could do this. Or at least that it was worth a second date.

The kiss a few days earlier had been...he actually couldn't belive how amazing that had been. For such a light kiss, he couldn't believe how much he had enjoyed that kiss, how much he needed more. He had forgotten how wonderful of a kisser she was, how much he had always enjoyed the feel of her lips against hers. And now he needed her again, needed her in his life.

So tonight had to be perfect. It had to blow every other date she had ever had out of the water because he needed her to get to this point. He needed her to realize that they didn't make all that much sense apart. They never had. He needed her to need him again. And he wasn't stupid. One perfect date wouldn't win her trust back, but it could at least be a step.

And now it was time he took that step. He needed to get out of his car and go to her front door and pick her up for their first date in thirteen years. But he was still gripping the steering wheel, his hands sweaty and shaking as he struggled to take deep breaths. He shouldn't be this nervous. This was going to work, they hadn't lost it. Whatever they had had, they hadn't lost it.

He moved out of the car slowly. It would be fine, it would be perfect. He saw the way she looked at him. Even if she wasn't ready to say anything, the way she looked at him said enough. And the kiss. There was no way to deny the way the kiss had felt, he had seen the slight flush of red on her cheeks. She wanted this. They were both terrified but they both wanted this.

This would be fine. He was taking her to a local steakhouse, nice but not stuffy. He hadn't thought to tell her whether or not to dress up, which had made him panic slightly at this trailer. But if she hadn't changed too much, she would find a way to just wear jeans and a nice sweater. Of course, it had been thirteen years...she might have changed. They had both changed so much.

Which was good, it was probably good. He still hadn't found anything about her that he wasn't completely crazy about. And tonight he would find out more. That was the point of first dates, to get to know someone. And maybe he had known her once but that was a long time ago. So he'd get to know her again. And she would get to know him. Find out all the ways they had changed.

He took a deep breath and knocked on her door, clenching and unclenching his fists, chuckling slightly as he heard her cursing as she ran into things. "Coming!" she shouted and then the door was swinging open and she was standing in front of him in a deep green wrap dress, her hair softly curled around her face. "Hey."

"Hey," he smiled, his eyes sweeping her slowly. "Wow."

"Wow?"

"You look...beautiful."

"Oh," she blushed. "Um...thank you."

"You're welcome," he murmured, leaning forward to brush a kiss against her cheek.