broken butterfly

chapter 5

*Sua's dream *

I was walking on Tokyo square. There was no one there, not a soul to be found. Weirdly enough it didn't even feel strange. I walked towards the traffic lights and was about to cross the road when suddenly I was surrounded by people. They closed in on me and I could barely move. They crossed in front and behind me, bumping into me with their shoulders. I could feel the panic rising in my chest. With every second the amount of people only seemed to double. My breath started quickening and I dropped myself to the ground, curling up into a small ball. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe in and out. The sounds of the people around me still overruled my thoughts . I put my hands on my ears, in an attempt to quiet down the sounds. I started to softly rock myself back and forth, the tears running down my cheeks

A hand on my shoulder snapped me out of the movement and I looked up. There she was, Siyeon was on her knees in front of me. She cupped my cheek with her hand and gently wiped my tears away with her thumb. I slowly retreated my hands from my ears and leaned into her touch. The warmth of her hand felt like something I felt before, something comforting that I seemed to have lost at some point in my life. She gave me the sweetest smile I had ever seen and came closer. She carefully wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug. The people around me disappeared as fast as had come. I slowly put my arms around her as well and rested my head on her shoulder. I closed my eyes and let myself drift off into the comfort of the hug.

*end of dream*

Sua pov

I woke up breathing heavily. It took me a second to realize I was in my room. Slowly I started to remember my dream, the more I remembered, the more confused I was. I barely even knew Siyeon. Why was I dreaming about her? Why did that hug feel so real, so good... Part of me wanted to go back to sleep, hoping I could go back to the dream. But I had to get ready for school.

I took some clothes out of my drawer and went to the bathroom.

!!trigger warning!! (you can skip this)

I walked into the bathroom and put the stack of clothes on the bathroom sink. I turned around to lock the door and let myself slide down against it. I pulled my legs to my chest and leaned my head on my knees. I let out a sigh and started to fidget with the edge of my sleeve. I slowly rolled it up and looked at my scar covered arm. There was no one else to blame for that but me. I kept looking at my scars, unable to tear my eyes away, and started tracing them with my fingers.

"One more day, I can survive one more day."

I whispered to myself. I had managed to stop cutting for a whole week and it made me feel proud. I rolled my sleeve back up and walked back to the sink.

End of triggering part

I changed my clothes, combed my hair, brushed my teeth and put some make up on. Once I was ready I went downstairs and quickly ate some food. My parents had already left the house when I got there, not that I minded. It didn't make any difference after all. I decided that I was going to bike to school today and take the route that was a little longer so I could calm my mind a bit. After I finished eating I went to the garage and grabbed my bike. The outside air was cold, so cold. You could feel that winter was near. I had always loved winter tho. Being able to wear sweaters without feeling as if I was going to melt was definitely something I enjoyed.

I got on my bike and started to pedal. I looked around me, taking in the view. I watched as people walked around on the streets and I thought about what their lives would be like. I got so distracted that I almost forgot to watch the road. A car came toward me in full speed, I noticed just in time to hit the brakes. The car honked and I could hear the driver yell something at me from the inside, but I was in too much of a shock to care. "That was close." I thought to myself as I placed my feet on the pedals once again, this time a little bit more concentrated. But again, I wasn't able to keep my thoughts from wondering off once more. This time however, I didn't think about the people on the street, but about what would have happened if that car had hit me. Would that really have been so bad...

Siyeon pov

I woke up to the comforting feeling of somebody holding my hand and slowly opened my eyes. After letting them adjust to the bright light for a moment, I saw Dongmin sitting next to me. He must've come by yesterday evening when I was already asleep. I gave his hand a soft squeeze and his eyes opened.

"Good morning beautiful" he said.

"Hi," I smiled at him "aren't you supposed to be at school?"

"I didn't want you to wake up alone in here. What if you got lonely or scared?"

"That's very nice of you babe, but you really didn't have to. I'm sure sleeping like that wasn't comfortable."

"As long as it's for you I don't mind."

He stood up and leaned in to give me a hug. I returned it before getting up and walking to the bathroom. I quickly got ready and by the time I came back he had already gathered all my stuff.

"Ready to leave?" he asked.

"Of course."

I got discharged, filled in some paperwork and we headed outside of the building.

"Your parents send a taxi, it'll be here in a few minutes."

"Ok" I said.

He put his arm around me waist and I put my head on his shoulder. After a few minutes the taxi arrived and we got in. We didn't say a word the whole way, instead I decided to look out of the car window and watched as we drove past the houses and people. It didn't take long before we arrived at my house and I quickly got out and hurried to get my stuff inside. I put my bags in my room and grabbed my backpack that was standing in the corner. Once back outside I hopped into the car and it started to move again, this time it was headed for school.

We arrived at school I saw Yoohyeon and Minji waiting for me along with some other people. I guess I could consider them all friends, but I wasn't very close with them. I got out and Yoohyeon came running to me. She pretty much jumped around my neck out of enthusiasm.

"Hi" I laughed.

"I'm just glad to see you're still alive. Who knows, maybe a killer came to the hospital after we left."

Minji walked towards us.

"We're just glad to see that you're feeling good enough to come to school."

She opened her bag and looked for something, after a few seconds she pulled out a bag of cookies.

"Here, have these."

"No, I can't take your cookies. Food is pretty much holy for you."

"I insist, I need to make sure you eat so you don't faint again."

She handed me the bag and I hesitantly accepted it. It had been so long since I last ate cookies. I barely even remembered what it tasted like. Not wanting to be rude, I took out one of the cookies and took a small bite, letting the taste fill my mouth. I couldn't deny that it tasted incredible and I happily took another bite. Still feeling guilty for taking Minji's food away from her I held out the bag.

"You need to eat some too. After all it are still your cookies."

She laughed "Only cause you insist."

We stood there in our small group, laughing at a story someone was telling, when I caught someone in the corner of my eyes. I turned around only to lock eyes with the small girl in a hoodie. Once she noticed me looking back at her she quickly looked down and walked inside.

"I have to go somewhere, I'll see you guys in class." I said before following her inside.

A/N:

I try my very best to make it not too triggering. I still want to include parts like that but I try to make them as least triggering as possible. That said I hope yall liked this chapter, I will be going into the girl's stories later on in the fanfic😊