broken butterfly

chapter 15

*trigger warning*

(mention of suicide)

Siyeon pov

Everything passed in a blur and before I realized I was in the ambulance, looking at Sua. How could this have happened? How could I be so blind? I should've stayed with her when she was feeling sick. I took her hand, hoping that she could feel it. Hoping that she knew I wouldn't leave her side. After a few minutes of driving Sua had another seizure. Her body began to shake violently. I watched the nurse get out of her seat.

"TRY TO HOLD HER DOWN AS MUCH AS YOU CAN!" She told me.

I did exactly as she said and grabbed Bora's leg and shoulder, trying to lessen the shaking. I watched as the nurse rolled up her sleeve to give her an intravenous drip. No... this couldn't be true. I thought my eyes were betraying me. Bora's arm was filled with... scars. But how, why, when... Some of the scars looked recent. My grip lessened.

"YOU NEED TO HOLD HER STILL. IF I CAN'T PUT THIS IN THEN SHE MIGHT DIE" The nurse yelled.

I snapped out of it and made sure Sua laid still again. The nurse gave her the infusion and the shaking slowly stopped. I sat back down, my head was spinning. I didn't know what to do. Shortly after we arrived at the hospital I got out and the paramedics took Sua inside. I tried to follow them but they stopped me.

"Sorry ma'am but you have to stay in the waiting room."

I walked to the waiting room and sat down. I started crying heavily, unable to keep it any longer. After a few minutes I saw the others walk in. Minji with tears in her eyes and Yoohyeon trying to stay strong and comfort her. Gahyeon, Yubin and Handong walked towards me and hugged me. They told me Dongmin stayed behind with his friend to clean up. He would've come by later.

Third pov

Sua was taken to the ER.

"Female, 18, probably overdosed," one of the paramedics said to a doctor.

"We need to empty her stomach asap," the doctor said.

They took Sua to a room and emptied her stomach. About an hour passed, but the chances of her getting better soon were really high. A nurse took her to a room and went to the waiting room to get her friends.

Siyeon pov

We had been waiting for what seemed like an eternity. Dongmin had arrived in the meantime and he was hugging me. He was so sweet... A nurse came from behind the corner.

"Your friend is going to be okay. She's in room 314. You are allowed to visit her but she is still sleeping"

"Okay, thank you," Minji said.

We all stood up and went to her room. We walked in and I could feel some kind of relief to see that she was still alive. We all took a chair and sat around her bed, quietly talking to each other, trying not to wake her up. She still looked incredibly pale, I was still worried. As I took her hand I saw that her arm was wrapped in bandages. I was hoping that the others wouldn't notice. An hour had passed and everyone slowly started leaving. It was already 2 in the night, so I didn't blame them. No one had said a thing about what happened. After a while, only me and Dongmin were left.

"I think it's time for us to leave too babe. We can come visit her again in the morning, she might be awake then"

"No I can't, I won't leave her side"

"I know you're worried babe, but you need sleep"

I looked at Sua; even in this state she looked so peaceful while sleeping.

"I won't leave, you can go though. I'll see you tomorrow" I said, and gave him a faint smile.

He knew that he couldn't convince me. He kissed my forehead, put his chair away and left the room. It was just Sua and I now. I was tired so I put my head down on the mattress. I could feel my eyes closing. I fell asleep to the sound of the heart monitor, knowing that she was still alive.

Sua pov

I woke up to my head pounding like crazy. This was the biggest hangover I've ever had and hopefully the last. I'm never going to drink again. I could feel the heat of something against me. I slowly opened my eyes to see Siyeon's head on my belly, but we weren't at her house and we were not definitely at mine. That's when it hit me: I was at the hospital. But how... Why, what happened? I slowly moved to sit up, careful not to wake up Siyeon. I felt like absolute crap. Once I sat up Siyeon's eyes fluttered open. She looked at me and smiled softly.

"You're finally awake"

"You stayed here all night? What happened?"

"I did and I'll tell you later. Let's eat something first." She had a worried look on her face. That's when I saw the hospital gown I was wearing had short sleeves. SHIT, NO. THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING. I tried to put my arm from underneath Siyeon. She noticed what I was doing.

"There's no reason for you to hide it... I know" she said. She still looked worried, but not only worried. She looked... angry. I didn't understand why.

"Why didn't you tell me? I trusted you with all my problems. I- I cared for you. And yet you hid everything from me" she looked me right into the eyes, looking like she was about to burst in tears.

"You... YOU WERE GOING TO LEAVE ME BEHIND". She suddenly stood up and stepped a few steps back.

"I... I don't understand, what do you mean? Siyeon please, talk to me"

"Bora don't even try, you tried to kill yourself yesterday"

Her words lingered the air for a moment. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't deny it, because I had indeed thought about it... but these past few weeks have been so good. I... I wouldn't know why I would do it...

"Siyeon I... I can't remember anything from last night, and I know that I wouldn't leave you"

Her eyes turned cold. "And yet you tried..." she said, as the tears fell from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. My vision started to get blurry.

"I have to go Bora, I'll tell the others that you're awake. But stay away from me please, I don't want to see you again."

She turned around and walked towards the door. "Siyeon please, I'm sure there is another explanation"

She stood still at the door but didn't turn around. "Tell that to yourself if that makes you feel better. But I don't need your petty excuses"

She walked out the door without looking back. I let my tears fall as I laid back down. I pulled the blanket around me and curled up into a fetus position. I started heavily crying, knowing that I had just lost the trust of the person closest to me.

A/N: 

I want to apologize for not uploading last week. These chapters still had to be reviewed and I was not in a mental good place to do so since it wouldve been triggering for me. I want to thank my friend who reviewed and corrected them for me for putting her time in this and helping me out. Thank u so so much apple <3