A chance to love again

III

Sanem

Moving is a real pain, I feel an excruciating pain even just breathing, but I somehow manage to get to the agency.

First I go to the relaxation station to prepare the tea to bring to him as soon as he arrives at the agency, I feel like I'm moving like in an aquarium, maybe it's the lack of sleep or the fact that I can hardly breathe, but my mind is clouded and I can hardly make any movement.

Cey Cey gives me a worried look - Are you okay Sanem? You look pale, what did you do to your hands and face? -

I shake my head sketching a smile - Nothing Cey Cey, you know with my proverbial carelessness I always manage to fall or bump somewhere - He looks at me doubtfully.

I see Can arrive and enter his office, I hurry to pour the freshly brewed tea and follow him in hopes that I can talk to him before everyone else arrives and he gets to work.

I knock on the glass door with my usual smile - Günaydın, good morning, tea is ready -.

He takes off his jacket, hangs it up, sits at his desk opening his laptop without responding to my greeting. Apparently it will be more difficult than I thought.

-Can we talk Can? -

He doesn't look up from the screen.
- We have nothing to talk about -

-Can lutfen, please allow me to explain why I acted a certain way.
Please, I only did it because seni çok seviyorum, I love you so much -

I see a bitter smile appear on his face but he still doesn't look up at me.

- Can, I couldn't stay without doing anything when you were locked up in prison because of me, you had an argument with Fabbri because of me.
I absolutely had to do something, do you understand that? -

He continues to keep his head down, his gaze fixed on the pc, he doesn't seem to have heard a single word I've just told him.

I put the cup on the table and evidently my hands enter his field of vision, he must have seen the scratches and then the bandage, he finally looks up at my face with a surprised expression - What happened to you? -

I struggle to get back upright after setting my cup down, the pain in my side is increasingly unbearable.
Polen's voice interrupts whatever words I was about to utter.

- Can, aşkım, love why did you leave without waking me up this morning? -

I was struggling to breathe but at this point I hold my breath in amazement and my heart misses a beat.
That's it then, they spent the night together at the cabin as I had imagined.

I leave the room as fast as I can, my heartbeat pounding in my ears, breathing harder and harder.

I leave the office in a trance-like state not knowing where to go or what to do, I head without realizing it into the agency's ladies room, lean my back against the door and let myself slide to the floor.
This position makes me feel even more pain in my side and makes my breathing even more labored, but I hardly notice it so much is the pain my broken heart is feeling at that moment.

I can't believe that a few days before he declared his undying love for me, asking me to marry him, and the next day he not only completely shut me out of his life, but also ran back into the arms of his ex.
Could he have truly loved me if this was his behavior as soon as there was a misunderstanding between us?

I don't know how long I've been sitting on the bathroom floor, I need to wake up from this stupor and get back to work, surely someone will be looking for me.

I go back to my desk, no one seems to have noticed my absence, I decide to take my laptop and go to take refuge in the archive, maybe today it's better for me, it's better for me to stay away from everyone and especially from him and Polen.
As I'm walking past his office I can't stop myself from casting a glance towards his desk and this time my battered heart can't help but break into a thousand pieces.

Can is standing with his back to the door, Polen wraps his arms around his neck as they kiss passionately.

My breathing stops, I can't believe what my eyes are seeing, a dark sound begins to grow in my ears, a roaring that accompanies the crazy beating of my heart, I can't breathe, my vision blurs and then everything goes black, I feel myself falling while absolute nothingness envelops me.