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Chapter 50

*C H A R L O T T E*

Hero remains distant and cold the whole time we are at the Cathedral. I have had it with his attitude because he is ruining the day for everyone. Jack and Lizzie have noticed something is up and he leaves the cathedral several times to make calls.

"What is up with Hero?" Lizzie asks when we walk outside, back into the sunshine.

"I honestly have no idea," I admit. "One moment everything was perfectly fine and then he got a call and he just.. He was like this after the call."

"Hm," Lizzie says.

We both wonder and speculate about the phone call.

Back in the car we listen to the podcast again. Lizzie and Jack are the only ones laughing. I'm not in the mood for laughing and neither is Hero. Now the distance gets a physical dimension as well because Hero sits as far away from me as possible at the backseat of a car. How are we here again? I stare outside the window and try to find a reason for his behavior. What was the call about? Who called him and upset him? And why is he so distant all of a sudden?

It's a relief to get out of the car when we're at the Pembrokeshire coast. The atmosphere in the car was killing me. I need some air. I need to breathe. So close to the ocean there is a bit of wind but it feels great. I walk ahead of my friends when we follow a small coast path. The beach is below us and the path is on a cliff, it's narrow so it kind of takes my mind off everything else. On top of the cliff, at the end of the path I stop and watch over the ocean. The wind clears my head. I feel like I'm at the end of the world and it's so peaceful. Nothing can feel wrong here. I saw this spot in a nature documentary once and I'm thrilled to finally be here. It's as beautiful as it was on tv.

I suddenly feel a pair of eyes on me and turn around. Hero.

I don't break the silence but just stare at him. He stares back. His face blank as always. For the millionth time I wish I could read his face. Ahhh this so pointless and it frustrates me.

I turn back around and try to block him out. Hero comes standing next to me.

"I owe you an apology," he says.

"Where are Lizzie and Jack?" I ignore what he said.

"They're behind. Lizzie can't walk fast and this trail is tricky so they're taking their time."

"I'm sorry," he says again.

This time I turn and look at him. I don't say anything.

"I shouldn't have reacted the way I have after the call."

"No."

I wait for him to continue and keep staring at him. His face softens. He clearly is not mad at me! My heart takes a small jump.

"I just got some bad news. Something I was hoping to avoid."

"And now?" I try to stay firm. He needs to know this was not ok!

"Now nothing. I'm really sorry. I meant what I said earlier. It means a lot to me that you have given me the opportunity to be friends with you. I have really missed you and I want you in my life. Even if all you want to be is just friends."

My hart starts pounding faster again and it's hard to stay mad now. My face softens as well. The conversation suddenly takes a very interesting turn.

"What happened to 'we can't be just friends'?" I ask. My voice is trembling a bit. Too many emotions rush through my body at once.

Will he give me a clear answer?

"Ah," he sighs. "Well, it is very hard to keep my hands off you and it will be very hard if you say you never want to be with me again but I'd rather have you in my life as just a friend than not at all. That's the one thing I know for sure now. I never want to be out of your life again."

I feel the blood rush to my cheeks.

"It's hard to keep your hands off me?" My voice is a mere whisper.

"Yes!" he says. "But as I promised, I won't touch you again unless you ask me. I'm a good boy," he teases.

"So what if I ask you?" I sound out of breath.

Just the talk of touching me is enough to make my body ache in several places. Hero's eyes widen but before he can reply, Lizzie and Jack join us at the end of the world. I look down at the beach and wonder if jumping off a cliff would feel the same as what I just said to Hero. I feel like I jumped into the unknown. I'm really looking forward to what's next. Maybe a next chapter for the both of us is coming. Maybe our book isn't finished after all.