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Chapter 21

*C H A R L O T T E*

I take one last look at Madeira before I board the plane. I'm nearly having a panic attack.

I wish I could stay but that is silly, I will be back soon enough. I can't wait. This is my safe haven and I'm anxious leaving it. I'm not ready to face the real world, not at all. But for Lizzie I'm leaving my bubble. I would never want to miss the wedding, no matter how hard it is for me to leave my safe place. These past few weeks have been good for me though. I've gained back the weight I had lost and I got a tan. I feel healthier and I look better. I look like me again. My hair has grown a lot so it's now halfway down my back. Mentally I feel better as well. The nightmares are gone again and so is the pain. Madeira somehow managed to fill the hole in my heart Hero left. I'm not healed yet but I'm getting there. Love and dating is something for the future but for now, I'm okay. I recently got a job as a guide for Belgian and Dutch tourists. It helps me pay my bills and it's a job I actually enjoy. I can enjoy life again! I was someone that used to love life and I've missed that. So my job and my friends are helping me find that feeling back. We've got a nice life going on.

I take a deep breath as the plane takes off. Here we go!

I got a window seat in the front of the plane and I'm glad for that. There's no one sitting next to me so I can sit back and relax. I can't believe Lizzie and Jack are getting married so soon! I was so surprised when my brother called me. I was so cut off from the world that it was strange to realize that life goes on, even if I'm in a bubble. It was time to reach out to my friends though. It has been too long. Obviously I called Lizzie immediately and made plans. It wasn't possible for me to arrive before the wedding because of my job so I will see them on the day itself. My dress will be waiting in my room. Lizzie and I used to share clothes all the time so she knows my size and I trust her excellent taste. I'm staying an extra week though just to catch up and make up for it. I will get to see their new place. I know Lizzie doesn't mind. Because of the pregnancy we couldn't have a hen night anyway. I look at the ocean underneath. I swallow hard. I haven't asked her but I know Hero will be there. Of course he will be. He is their friend and he's the godfather of their twins. I don't know how I feel about that. I didn't expect to see Hero so soon after it all fell apart. I tried watching After just to prepare but I couldn't. I just couldn't. I just hope he hasn't brought Melany. That would break me all over again. Katarina offered to go with me for support but I need to do this alone. I mean, in a couple of months we both will be godparents so we need to be able to be civil at least. God, even though I know Hero isn't the father of Melany's baby, I don't want to see her pregnant belly. I don't want to picture them as a happy family because that is what it looked like to me on the photos. Would he be so cruel?

At the airport there is a car waiting for me. He will be taking me to the castle where I will stay tonight and he will drive me to the church tomorrow. It's late and dark outside so I can't look at the view outside. It's nearly midnight. I am exhausted but I'm not sure if I'll be able to sleep. The nerves are getting to me. It's quite a long drive to the castle and I'm glad when I'm finally there. Luckily, the friendly receptionist is still awake and she even arranged some fresh tea to be sent up to my room. Once in my room I look around. Damn, this place is nice! Because of the darkness I couldn't get a good look but this sure looks like a fairytale. I open the closet and discover the dress Lizzie got me. It's gorgeous! It's a soft pink bridesmaids gown. The top is like a bustier which will make my boobs look great! It also stresses my waist. The bustier covered in lace. It's so long it will probably almost touch the ground. There is a pair of soft pink pumps next to the closet. The heels are covered in glitter. I smile. This outfit reminds me of Lizzie and it will give a fairy touch to the wedding. I don't unpack but I just take off my clothes and I dive in the enormous bed. I stare at the ceiling and try to get some sleep.

The phone next to the bed rings way too early.

"Hello?" I pick up with a sleepy voice.

"Good morning, Miss, this is the reception. The bride asked us to wake you up this morning. Would you like some room service?"

"Oh, some coffee and some waffles would be great, thanks!"

"It will arrive shortly. Have a pleasant day!"

I stretch and I look around my room properly now. It really is nice! I get up and open the curtains. The castle grounds are bathing in the early sunlight. Wow Lizzie!

Soon there is a knock on the door and the coffee and waffles arrive. I put on some music to calm my nerves. I look at the clock and I have two hours to get ready so I decide to enjoy my breakfast. The coffee is just the way I like it: black and strong. The waffles are delicious. After my very tasty breakfast I jump in the big shower and wash my hair. I didn't realize I was tense but now I feel the hot water loosen my muscles. It feels good. If I want to do my make-up, I won't have a lot of time to enjoy the hot water so I jump out of the shower. After putting on my body lotion, I dry my hair. I'm not very good at curling my hair or just doing something fancy with it so I just dry it. Because it's so long now, it covers my back. I put in some pins so my face is free and my hair doesn't bother me. Katarina taught me to do my own make-up and she gave me some of hers. I look through all the stuff she gave me and I find a color for my eyes that will go perfect with my dress. I also have a soft pink lipstick. I'm not as quick as she is so it takes me some time to get it right. Finally, I can put on the dress and shoes. As I expected, they fit perfectly. I look at myself in the mirror and decide I look beautiful. This is the way I want to look to face Hero for the first time. The dress makes my body look amazing and my tan compliments my dress. There is a short knock on the door and I know it's the driver from last night. He is here to take me to the church. Suddenly my nerves get the better of me and I need to take a few deep breaths. Okay, let's do this!

Once outside I can look back at the castle and it's beautiful. Lizzie and Jack truly will get a fairytale wedding. The tiny church is on castle grounds but it's a bit of a walk so Lizzie's cousin is driving me. Nerves are rushing through me. I don't know what to expect. I just need to concentrate on Lizzie and Jack and everything will be okay. It must me. Lizzie's cousin helps me out of the car. I need to find Lizzie because I want to see her before the wedding so I must hurry. I stand in front of the church. This is it. I check on my hair and my dress and I walk inside. The first thing I see is a nervous Jack standing halfway through the isle. Hero is standing in front of him, his back facing me. Jack smiles at me and Hero turns around. Our eyes meet.