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Chapter 16

*C H A R L O T T E*

We have breakfast together and then Katarina and Tiago are off to work, leaving me alone with Fabio.

"So what are your plans for today?" he asks after his second espresso.

"I literally have no idea!" I yawn and stretch.

After months full of stress and not enough sleep, it feels good to have an empty schedule. For the first time in years my life is like a blank page waiting to be written. Two months ago the idea of an uncertain future frightened me but now I welcome it. I can travel the world. Learn the tango in Argentina, visit the ruins of Chichen Itza in Mexico, hike up to Machu Picchu in Peru and learn how to surf in Hawaii.

"Well, I hate to leave you alone all day but I have to go to the bar. We're testing some new beers," Fabio says and he puts his cup in the sink.

"Sounds interesting! I definitely need to try them tonight!"

It makes him smile. I was the one who suggested to put some international beers on the menu because that will draw in tourists as well and they just spend more money. Also, I love a good beer so win-win.

"I will make sure that your table is free."

"Cool! We're going out for dinner first though. So it will be at least eleven when we arrive."

"Where are you guys going?"

I give him a smile and pop up my eyebrow. He should know this.

"Of course, I'm sorry. O Tapasol it is!"

"Obviously!" The thought of espetada makes my mouth water.

"Okay, I have to run. See you tonight!" He walks over to me and gives me two kisses, one on each cheek, which is customary here.

After Fabio's departure I walk around the house. What will I do today? There's nothing much I can do inside. I stopped reading magazines after I noticed that Hero is in them all the time. I've seen photo's of him partying in Canada and going out for dinner with Melany. I couldn't handle it so I just stopped reading them altogether. I also don't have any social media or email to check so I'm free as a bird. It's actually quite liberating to be cut off from the world. No pressure to check social media. No one to disturb my peace. With that note I decide to go to one of my favorite spots here. I walk over to my room and take a quick shower. I put on a pair of shorts and a tank top. Slippers aren't a good idea for where I'm going so I decide on my loyal Chuck Taylor's. I put a bottle of water in a bag and go out. Once I'm on the street I take a deep breath. I love the smells in this city. Garlic, food, ocean, nature. I can just walk around for hours. There's so much to see! Since I don't have a car I decide to take the bus to my spot. It's high up in the mountains so the walk there would probably kill me. The bus is full of tourists going to the same place. I love listening to their different accents. Being Belgian I speak multiple languages so I understand most of it.

Once we arrive, the tourists go to the left to visit the church and the look out. It will give them an amazing view of the city below and the ocean. It's a place I have visited many times coming here with my family. I prefer to go right though. It's a much quieter area and it gives me a view on the valley full of trees and green plants. If I look right I can also spot the city and the ocean. It's a short walk and on the way I don't spot a living soul. I take a seat on top of a low stone wall and look at the beautiful nature around me. God, how I love this place. Why didn't I think of this before? I should have come here straight away. Losing Hero like that was hard enough but going to Belgium and Cardiff and just feel that I didn't truly fit in anymore was too painful. No one seemed to need me. Looking at the valley below I wish Hero was here to share the view with me. It always was my plane to take him here some day because I know he will appreciate it as much as I do. But now I can't. Now I just wish I could take all those memories away. The good and the bad. The bad memories are horrible and they hurt as hell. The fights, the look in his eyes that final night.. but the good ones sometimes are more painful to remember. His eyes underneath those heavy eyebrows, his thick accent, the butterflies when he looked at me. I want to take it all away. I don't want to know how his touch feels. I read a book a long time ago, The Binding, where it was possible to write the memories down into a book. Once written down you would forget about them, they would only exist in the book. How I wish I could do that.