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Chapter 55

*C H A R L O T T E*

My feet automatically bring me to Bute Park. When I realize where I am I stop running and take a few deep breaths. I'm not an athletic type so my heart is racing and I'm out of breath. I don't know whether this is because of what happened or because of the running. The sight of Bute Park calms me down and I start walking. I walk past a spot where we once spent a night under the stars with our friends. Nope, not a good spot. I find a spot that brings up a feeling that reminds me of today. It's where I came the first time this happened. When I heard of Hero's girlfriend in America, Melany. Suddenly I realize this was only one year ago. After all that has happened, all we went through, it seems a lot longer. It seems like a lifetime ago. But still the heartbreak feels the same. I have no idea where Hero is and frankly I don't care. I just hope he's gone by the time I go back. I know I can't blame myself, I have done everything to fight for him. I won't let myself go like last time.

I stare at the water. It looks so calm and serene. So different from what's going on inside me. I'm in deep thought when someone touches my arm. Jack.

"Hey," he says and he sits down next to me.

"Hey." My voice sounds raw from crying and not speaking for hours.

"I thought I might find you here."

He is right. Everyone knows Bute Park is where I go to when I need to think so why did I come here when I knew I'd be easy to find? Did I secretly hope Hero would come instead if Jack? Probably.

"He's gone," Jack says. "He's on his way to London."

I look at the Taff and it's like being punched in the stomach. Even after all this I'd hoped he'd come to his senses and come find me but instead he left.

"Why did he even bother to come back into my life?!" I suddenly scream. I'm outraged but most of all I am hurt. "Why did he travel across Europe to find me if all he wanted to do was break my heart again?" My voice breaks and the tears come.

Jack sighs.

"Honestly.. I have no idea. None. We totally believed him. But don't you worry, we're here for you and we won't let him hurt you again."

Jack wraps his arm around my shoulders and comforts me.

Jack let's my cry for a bit and we sit in silence. He doesn't rush me, he doesn't push me. He's just here for me.

"Come on," he says when my eyes are dry and my tears are gone. "Lizzie will be waiting for us. I know she's worried."

When we arrive Lizzie doesn't say anything but just hugs me. She understands. The rest of the day we don't mention his name. They spoil me with red wine and pizza and we don't talk about what happened because honestly, what is left so say?

The next day Jack, Killian and I are working in the twins' room when someone rings the doorbell. We hear Lizzie open it and suddenly her voice rises.

"What the hell?" Jack asks with raised eyebrows. He quickly leaves the room to see what all the fuss is about.

Killian shrugs and keeps painting.

"No, no, absolutely not, Hero!" Jack says with a loud voice.

I swear my heart stops beating for a second. Hero! He's here!

"I don't want to see him," I say with a choked voice. The confrontation would be too hard. I asked him loud and clear to pick me, to choose me, to be with me and he said no. This thing between us ended right then and there. I promised him I could let the past rest and I meant it. We promised no more secrets but little did I know he had a big one. Yesterday I made my peace with it. I tried, I failed. There is nothing left to say.

"Don't worry," Killian says and he leaves the room to join Jack and Lizzie.

I hear Killian say something and Hero answering. I shut the door. I don't want to listen to this.

"No way, Hero! Haven't you done enough?!" Killian yells. "I swear I will punch you again if you don't leave. NOW!"

"Move, Killian," Hero yells back. "Let me see her! CHARLOTTE!"

I flinch and I fall down. My knees hit the floor and I cover my ears.

"CHARLOTTE!" Hero shrieks.

The boys are yelling. Even Lizzie starts screaming at him.

"I trusted you, you dumb fuck! Why did you even bother?! I won't be fooled this time, you won't get to talk to her!"

I think Lizzie had some effect at last because it's quiet all of a sudden. Lizzie probably shocked everyone. Someone slams the door and I hear footsteps. That's it. My friends are coming back.

On Saturday we all pretend everything is fine but I'm sure we're all thinking about Hero who's probably boarded his plane by now. He is gone. It's time for me to move on. Again.