𝐇𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐌𝐞 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 ; 𝘉𝘺𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝟐𝟏.𝟓.

⚠️TW: Suicide, Buhlemia⚠️

The Yuen Residence | Wed 6:53 PM
Blaineley Jack
(Interlude)

For as long as she could remember, Blaineley had always felt different from the rest of the cheerleaders at Hawkins High. Sure, together they're all the same but individually there was one key difference that taunted her every time she caught a glimpse of one of their bodies.

She was fat. In all the wrong places.

No one seemed to notice at school, but her current foster home made it brutally obvious that she wasn't what they were looking for in a daughter. All of the woman in the household were flat everywhere, had hair that would never get messy, and always walked poised and proper. Sports was frown upon unless you had academics to back it up, and for Blaine, her entire identity was cheer.

So, inevitably conflict would arise from the simplest things, like Blaine leaving her Pom poms in view of everyone else or her practicing instead of doing the house work. All while she was being denied her government checks and being pushed over he edge all day long. Most nights she'd go to sleep on the verge of tears.

What did she do to cope? Eat her feelings, but not you're regular kind of eating. It was more putting food in her mouth, chewing the taste out of it, then spitting it out. It got so bad that whenever she'd accidentally swallow something she'd run to the nearest bathroom to spit it up as quickly as possible.

She skipped meals all the time, her foster mom eventually noticing and being offended that she could never keep down her cooking. Claiming she was ungrateful for everything they've done for her. And that was the last straw.

One day, Blaineley sat down and got all of her things in order. She organized her clothes in boxes, called the people that still genuinely cared—so only Isaiah really, and cleaned up the house for the Yuens.

They all came home that day impressed by her work, considering actually praising her for once. But by the time they found her, she was already standing on her chair, a makeshift bed sheet noose around her neck tied to the fan. The girl kicking it over when the mother entered, and down by the time an ambulance was called. Blaine In and out of consciousness for most of the way there. Wanting to feel numb again. Wanting to feel what it was like to be dead.

She ended up missing two weeks of school and lied to everyone about once she came back, saying that she was on vacation with her dad when she was really stuck in a mental health hospital having to eat out of a tube to gain back all of the body fat she lost, and her dad was probably dead or in an alley pleasuring random guys for five dollars.

Instead of changing their behavior towards her or putting her in a feeding clinic, the Yeuns thought it would be easier and cheaper for them to just put her in a support group for kids struggling with it to. Blaine was only ok with it because it would be another chance to have connections with people who didn't see her as a snobby cheerleader like everyone else, or put her on a pedestal.

At the community center where the meetings were held, there wasn't really anyone in her group who she clicked with. Part of it was because she didn't think her behavior was much of a problem and thought she was managing it fine, and the other part of it was that all the girls who she was supposed to relate to looked as thin as she wanted to be. So being around them just made her feel worse about herself, and she ditched the girls after about a week.

Instead to fill the time, she started going to other random groups for things she didn't actually have a problem with. Guns, porn, drugs and alcohol.

Domestic abuse.

This group was the one she went to almost everyday, finding everyone's stories thrilling like car crashes. Then, one day, someone new joined the group. A fresh out of middle school, brown haired, freckled face girl. Even though Blaineley had already been there for an hour, she just had to know her name or at least her story. There were never any pretty girls in the class. Pretty girls didn't have real problems.

Except her.

She watched intently as she lifted herself from the chair. "I'm Jenifer."

"Hi, Jenifer"'s erupted from around the room, Blaineley being the only one who didn't speak. And ever since, she wondered what about the girl took her breath away.

Because Blaineley still wholeheartedly believed that she was straight and nothing but it.

To be continued...
[5/8/21 | 813 words]