𝐇𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐌𝐞 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 ; 𝘉𝘺𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝟏𝟎.𝟓.

Troy's Therapy Session
(Interlude)

"Troy, what emotion do you feel the most often?"

"Worried."

"Anything else?"

"Scared."

"What scares you?"

"People mostly. Sometimes myself."

"Why do people scare you?"

"They might want to hurt me, and I can't stop them."

"Why do you think they want to hurt you?"

"Because I'm gay, and I've hurt people for being gay so why wouldn't people hurt me?"

"Who has hurt you?"

"My parents. Patrick..."

"Tell me how. Start with your parents."

"My parents divorced when I was young and never really told me about it. It was like, one day we were together and the next day my father was getting on a plane to Indiana."

"How did them not telling you make you feel?"

"At the time I was probably just confused, but now it makes me...anxious?"

"Why anxious?"

"Because the rug could be pulled from under me at any moment, and I wouldn't have a say in anything or a heads up."

"Going back to people, do people in general make you anxious?"

Troy nods.

"Why?"

"I cant control what other people do or how other people feel, so for a long time I thought it was better to be alone. But then someone came into my life and they didn't allow me to feel that way."

"Does this person ever make you feel anxious, worried, or scared?"

"Not scared but definitely anxious and worried. I worry that they might have bad intentions or I'm not good enough for them or that one day they'll just leave me like my father did."

"Did Patrick ever make you feel anxious, worried, or scared?"

He sighs.

"When I lived with my mom in Chicago, me and Patrick were really close friends in the beginning. He was the only person I opened up to and I used to be really shy so that was rare. Around 5th grade we started to like each other more than close friends should and we kissed once. He was a little bit older because he had got kept back a couple grades and he wanted to do more than just kiss. I was a kid, I wasn't ready and I told him and he got mad and I had to apologize for weeks. Then, one night I slept over his house and, he scooted his sleeping bag closer to mine. I was half sleep when he started kissing me...and touching me. I didn't want it, but I couldn't stop him. He was bigger than me and holding me down. When he grabbed the band of my shorts, I lost it. It was like all the anxiety and fear and the worry boiled over and I kicked him in the crotch and ran home. I-I know he didn't actually do anything but just the feeling of being held down and being forced to do something you don't want to do is what I'm scared of feeling. Out of control."