Door of Happiness (Agravante Series #1)

KABANATA 10

Kabanata 10

Broken

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Umuwi si Brandon nang malapit na ang out ko, tulad lang ng ginawa niya noon. When I got home I received a text from him and also from my two friends, Olivia and Emma. Nagtext rin sa akin si Charlotte at kinakamusta ako, tinatanong rin kung kailan ako bibisita.

I haven't thought about going home to Cagayan because I don't have money yet and there are a lot of memories there that I don't want to face for now. What happened to my mother still hurts me. Hindi pa ako tuluyang gumagaling sa sugat na iniwan niya kaya hindi ko alam kung makaka uwi ako sa ngayon. Tsaka may pasok rin ako.

Naalala ko ang pagso-sorry ni Brandon kanina. Sa totoo lang ayos lang naman talaga ang ginawa ng babaeng iyon kanina. Hindi na niya kailangang humingi ng pasensya. Ang babaeng iyon ang bigla bigla nalang naghahanap ng gulo at feelingera dahil ang sabi niya nililigawan siya ni Brandon pero hindi naman pala.

Talagang mapang akin, huh? Kahit alam niya namang hindi sa kanya, kinukuha niya.

Brandon:

I'm home. Are you home?

Olivia:

How are you, Sandra? I miss you.

Emma:

We met Charlotte. She's very cute!

I smiled and typed a reply for them all. Hinuli ko ang kay Brandon. Hindi ko alam kung magre-reply pa ba ako sa kanya o hindi. But it will be rude if I don't reply.

I sighed.

Cassandra:

Nakauwi na rin.

Ayos na yan, diba? Atleast sinagot ko ang tanong niya.

Eh, bakit ba ako nagtatanong pa kung ayos na iyon? Of course that's okay, Cassandra! You don't have to add to what you said just to not be rude. You've been rude for a long time so that's okay.

Kaya lang nagtext ulit siya. Akala ko hindi na siya sasagot pa!

Brandon:

I'm doing my homeworks and after this I'll review. How about you? You have homeworks to do?

Humiga ako sa aking kama at patagilid na nagtipa ng sagot para sa kanya.

Cassandra:

Wala akong gagawin ngayon. Ikaw may mga gagawin ka pa kaya magfocus ka nalang dyan.

He's in college and his course is engineering so he will definitely have a lot more to do. I don't know why he wasted his time staying in the store earlier. Sigurado akong gagabihin siya ngayon dahil roon.

I don't know but I was suddenly guilty. Pero bakit naman ako magi-guilty? He was the one who stayed there. I didn't force him to stay there. It was his own choice so I shouldn't feel guilty.

Umirap ako sa sarili.

Brandon:

Yeah, you're right. And you, you should sleep now. Masyado nang gabi at maaga pa ang pasok bukas.

Hindi ko pa nararamdaman ang pagmamahal ng isang ama pero pakiramdam ko ganon ang ginagawa ni Brandon ngayon. Parang tinutunaw ang puso ko. Ganito ba ang pinaparamdam ng isang ama sa kanyang anak?

I want to feel the love of a father. I want to see how he can ban me from the things he doesn't want me to do. I want him to scold me. I want to have a father.

Marvino Agravante. That's the name of my father. I've seen pictures of him on the internet but I haven't seen him in person yet.

Paano kaya siya bilang ama? Mabait ba siya? Istrikto? Masungit? Maaalalahanin? Mapagmahal? Paano siya mag alaga? Paano niya inaalagaan si Elizabeth? I also want to experience being taken care of by him, by them. I want to... feel their love.