The Gangsters Love (On Hold) (Not for long though)

title of your story

Ryans POV

I walked out of the apartment and got into my car, slamming the door behind me. I swirved out of the parking lot and headed to the place where I could clear my head. Club Kiss and Tell.

I knew the bartender and the doorman there and I'm pretty sure they were both on duty tonight. The doorman, Ron, always let me in, but the bartender, Steve, usually didn't let me drink unless there was trouble with my mom.

I parked my car and went up to the club building ignoring the line when I saw Ronny. "Hey kiddo. Go on in. Steve is at the counter." Ronny was a really nice guy. He was pretty good looking for a guy his age. He was 39 with a wife and 5 kids. Yeah, I know. He's been pretty busy.

I went in the club and shoved my way through the crowds and sat down at a stool infront of Steve. "Burben on the rocks. And make it a double." I said to Steve. He nodded without asking what was going on. He usually asked after I've had my first drink.

You're proably wondering why I'm drinking if my mom has a drinking problem and is dying from it. When I drink, at the most I drink just enough to get me tipsy but not totally drunk. I've only been drunk twice and they were at parties.

Steve handed me drink and I gulped it down in two swollows. "Two tequilla shots please." He poured the shots and asked, "What happened this time doll face?" he always called me that. At first I hated it but now I didn't mind it.

"Shes been home a lot lately and she's hasn't been sober once. I honestly can't remember when I've seen her sober, or not high. I think she's rubbing off on me too." I said refering to my substance abuse issuses.

I began using drug when I was 13. I would do anything to get high except sell myself. I had more pride than that. I would use pretty much anything but I perfered crystal meth, and heroine, I would snort or do the shots. Snorting heroine had a better high than doing the shots but after the high wore off you had a killer headache for about 3 hours and nothing was able to calm it down. But I didn't care as long as it had a good high. I've been clean for a year and a half now and on the occation my mother has offered me some of her dope, but I refuse it every time. I don't want it affecting me and my life anymore.

Steve nodded, "I know it's hard Ry, it'll get easier. Trust me." I did trust him. He used to be in a drug dealing gang until the gang ended up setting fire to an apartment building killing two people. Luckily he wasn't there when they did it. After that he left the gang and got a job here as a bartender.

"I do trust you. And I'm glad that I don't have to deal with my mom anymore. She kicked me out. She's calling my dad and appearently I have to leave tomorrow." Steve stopped cleaning the glass that was in his hand, "You're leaving? Where?" he had pain and hurt in his voice. We were very close, and it would kill me if I had to move far away.

"I don't know where my dad lives. I hope it's not to far away. I would miss you like crazy." I would miss him more than 'like crazy'. To be totally honest, I loved Steve, in a more than a friend type way. But I was positive that he didn't feel the same, so I didn't say anything. I might be a pretty out going and I may speak my mind, but not about this stuff. No way.

"Me too. I don't know what I would do. You're my best friend, well besides Ronny, but hopefully your dad doesn't live far away from here." one can only hope. With my luck he probably lives in China. None of his letters had a return address. Once he got the memo that I didn't want to talk to him, he stopped putting it on the envolope.

My favorite slow song came on next, 1000 years by Christina Perry. "Steve, will you dance with me?" I asked. We always danced to this song whenever it came on, no matter where we were. Once it came on at the grocery store and Steve and me started dancing in the middle if the bake goods isle. People looked at us funny but we didn't care. Those people could suck it.

He smiled and hopped over the counter telling his bartender buddy to cover for him. We made it to the dance floor and began to dance. I loved the feeling of his arms around me, and I couldn't help but want to feel his lips on mine again. Yes, again. That's acually why we love to dance to this song together. Once we were dancing at a party and this song came on and Steve asked me to dance with him. So we began to dance and the one time I look up at his face his snipes me out if nowhere. But let me tell 'ya, I wish I could have kisses those lips forever. I felt a spark, and Steve said he felt it too. We began to date but decided that we should stay friends. I didn't want to really, but I wasn't going to tell him that.

"Ryan," Steve said, bringing me back to reality. "Yeah?" he swallowed looking nervous, "This might be a bad time, but I might not see you for awhile. When we decided to just be friends, I was just trying to help you. You were to good for me, and I felt selfish keeping you. I'm not a very good person Ryan, you deserve better than me. But I haven't stopped liking you." I was about to say something along the lines of, 'You lying bastard.' but he spoke before I could even draw the breath to say it, "I love you, Ryan Lane Martinez. I have loved you since the day we started talking. Please don't be mad. Please?"

I didn't know what I was feeling. He's loved me this whole time and probably knew that I still loved him. But I was leaving tomorrow and I didn't want our friend to end because of a stupid fight about us loving eachother. That would be stupid and imature.

"Im not mad." he gave me a 'you're so lying' face. "Okay. Maybe I'm a little mad at you, but I don't want to fight." he gave me a fake shocked face, "Wow. Ryan Martinez doesn't want to fight? You eat gangsters for breakfast, so the world must be ending if you don't want to fight-" I cut him off by punching him in the shoulder, and might I say pretty damn hard. "Shut up fag bucket." he rolled his eyes at me as the song ended.

"I have to get back to the bar. I'll try to stop by before you leave. Text me." he said giving me a hug. "Okay, I will. Bye" I said breaking the hug and walking away.

I made it outside when I heard my name being called. "Ryan! Ryan!" I turned around to see Steve running after me across the street. " I forgot to give you something." he said, and roughly pressed his lips to mine. The same spark I felt with him the first time we kissed was still there. When I wanted more Steve pulled back, causing me to be disappointed but I didn't show it. "I love you. Remember that, okay? We may not be together now, but someday, I'll make it work, no matter how far apart we are. I promise."

I trusted Steve to keep his promise. I trusted him with everything, but I was not perpared for what laid before me in the very near future.