𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐓- 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝟏

Little Bo Bleep!

"Stella! Where's my good girl"? I hear Jay call from the front door, "Julie? Is Stella up there"? Jay yelled. "No. But I am, why don't you come say hello to your wife when she comes home"? Gloria sneered. "Well, why don't you greet me at the door, wagging your tail"? Jay clapped back. "Stella, honey. Where are you"? Jay called. "Jay the pool"! I yelled before we heard a splash. "My baby"! Jay yelled running outside. 

"Stella. We're coming! I'm coming"! Jay yelled, jumping into the pool picking up Stella. "You okay, Stella"? I asked as Jay passed her to me. "Why are you swimming in your clothes"? Gloria gasped. "Because I'm self conscious about my body. . . Stella fell into the pool" Jay remarked. 

"It's my fault, I let her out and then I got caught up on my couponing" Manny frowned. "Any coupons for swim lessons, 'cause Stella needs some" Jay huffed. "Seriously"? I scoffed, "Manny you taught to swim by throwing him in the pool, but the dog gets swimming lessons"? Gloria questioned. "I've got to say, it was unpleasant but effective" Manny nodded. "We have to teach Stella to swim otherwise she could drown" Jay ordered. "Why don't you teach her not to jump into the pool"? Gloria suggested sarcastically. "She didn't jump into the pool, she fell, why would she suddenly  just jump into the pool when she doesn't know how to swim"? Jay defended. 

"Why does she bark at the vacuum? It's a thing. It's never going to be play with you" Gloria nodded getting close to Stella. "What are you saying Stella's stupid"? Jay frowned. "Are you covering her ears"? I laughed. "Let's have a little compassion. She's probably traumatized from her near death experience" Jay whined but before he could finish Stella 'fell' into the pool again. "Again?! What's happening"?! Jay yelled jumping into the pool with a splash. "Ay! No"! Gloria yelled before it was too late. 

We walked into the debate room, where Claire was debating. "We'll support you no matter what you say" Gloria smiled. "Wow. . .more support from my loving family" Claire smiled as she walked to her stand. "Honk, sarcasm. Why'd you bring Stella"? Phil asked. "She keeps getting out and jumping in the pool" I shrugged. "We don't wanna take any change because she can't swim" Manny added. "Then why does she keep jumping in the pool"? Alex asks. "I've been thinking about it. I got a theory. She might be suicidal" Jay frowned. "What"? I choked, "That's crazy" Gloria scoffed. "There's not such thing as doggy suicide" Gloria shrugged. A man who looked at least mid forties walked over to us.

"Hi, Duane Bailey. Uh, sorry. I couldn't help but overhear. In addition of being a public servant, I'm also an award-winning breeder of Puggles. I won the Puggly twice. And I'm afraid that doggy suicide is all too real. It's just the mainstream media doesn't report on it because it's not as sexy as feline AIDS" The man chuckled. "Stella is not suicidal. She's just stupid" Gloria scoffed. "That might be part of your problem. She senses you don't like her" Duane suggests. 

"You have no idea" I laughed, "This ones been against the little angel from the very beginning" Jay added, "Well, Dogs pick up on that. You know they're very sensitive. I like to call them-" Duane began before he covered Stella's ears. "Bottomless Pits of Need" Duane whispers. "But not to their face, that would just destroy them, Not you" Duane giggled as he stroked Stella. "So now this is my fault"? Gloria asked. "I think he knows what he's talking about, the man's won a Puggly" Jay yelled, Gloria walked of Jay following her, "Two actually-" Duane mumbled, "We're done here" I sighed following Jay and Gloria. 

It was a little later on and Duane was speaking, "But there's no substitutes for experience. For example I doubt that my opponent is familiar with town ordinance 26-12B-" Duane began, "26-12B has to do with noise pollution, something sir which you are guilty of right now" Claire clapped back, "Oh no she didn't" I laughed, "Go mom"! Alex and Luke cheered, "Ladies and Gentlemen I do like to talk about the issue, uh, speaking of issues, your husband seems to have some" Duane smirked, "I'm sorry-Am not sorry" Claire scoffed. "Oh, Well, I wouldn't want to bring it up but since you asked, um, In February last year, your husband, one, uh, Phillip Dunphy, was questioned at a local hotel for lewd and lascivious conduct-" Duane began.