BETWEEN LOVE AND LIES || JAESAHI

CHAPTER XXII

Arthur was impatiently waiting at the bench on the rooftop of their school. He has been there for one hour now and he was getting tired of waiting by the moment. He stood up and looked up at the sky, the weather that day was strangely cloudy. He was about to leave when Kevin walks out of the door, eyes glaring at him. He heaved a sigh, Kevin purposely made him wait for an hour.

"What the fuck are you talking about, Art? Can you please explain me what the fuck is going on?"

Arthur closed his eyes, he was tired. His personal issues with Kevin was his least priority now, there was a lot of things going on in his life and he don't know what to do anymore.

"I know you didn't mean what you said so please explain it to me now because I'm fucking confused at the moment."

The night before, Arthur called Kevin and asked him to stop their relationship and Arthur told Kevin that he was still not ready for that kind of commitment, not when they were still too young to know what is the difference between love and just affection. Though they admittedly like each other, still, they were too young that time to handle such commitment. And Arthur had a lot of things going on in his life.

"Please Vin, we're still too young, there is a time for a relationship you know. We have our own priorities that we need to prioritize first over commitment and relationship." Arthur pleaded, he didn't want another conflicts and arguments, he was barely holding his self together these past few weeks.

It started when his dad came home one night, body trembling and eyes full of panic. His mom and his sister was out that night to get some supplies in the grocery store and Arthur was the only one left in their house. He hurriedly walked closer to his dad and asked him if he was okay. His dad looked lost that time, like he just ran for his life outside. Arthur's dad didn't answer him and walked upstairs to their bedroom, ignoring him. And ever since that night, Arthur's dad would always came home either drunk, or sometimes he was like a crazy man, frightened and paranoid always. His family got worried, and they kept on asking their dad what was happening, but their dad just gave them the "I'm just tired" excuses. Arthur knew something wrong was happening. Until one day, Arthur saw a note, sealed in an envelope in his locker. The young boy thought it was from Kevin, so he didn't open it on the spot and waited to get home to open it in his bedroom. Arthur got home and hurriedly walked  upstairs to his bedroom, he was excited because he thought Kevin gave him a love letter. He opened it and he immediately dropped it when he saw what was inside the envelope. He got frozen on his spot, heart beating fast and cold sweats started to get out of his forehead. Arthur stared at the envelope for almost ten minutes, unable to move and looked around his surroundings, afraid that someone was hiding in his room. Frightened that he was, Arthur immediately ran in his dad's office and showed his dad what he received. It was a letter, saying "Im watching you, boy. Don't dare tell a single soul." with a picture of him with Kevin and their friends on the school ground laughing. His dad immediately hugged him, and cried on him while continuously saying sorry to him. Arthur was scared for his life, and he didn't know what was going on. Then his father told him what was happening. His father told Arthur that he had an argument with a big person in the industry who apparently was part of a biggest gang in the world and he didn't know it that time. The man threatened Arthur's dad that they will harm his family if he declined the money they were giving him, and still fight for the case Arthur's dad has been handling that time. Being the man of his principles and dignity, Arthur's father declined the money and still chose to defend the case he was handling that time because apparently, they have every witnesses and evidences to win the case that time. And that's when multiple death threats was sent to him and to his family. They managed to discover his family background and their personal address. His colleagues didn't know about it, because they threatened Arthur's father not to tell any single soul, or they will kill his whole family.

But his father didn't know why they need to give Arthur a death threat too, he was just a child, he didn't have to suffer like that at his age. Arthur's dad hugged him again tightly and repeatedly said sorry to him. Arthur cried too in his dad's chest. He was afraid and scared for his life, but he was more scared for the people that he love. His father told him after that to not tell a single soul, even to his mom or to his sister. His dad promised him that he will protect Arthur  and their family no matter what.

But after that night, Arthur became paranoid also. He always looked back whenever he went outside their house. Arthur always felt that someone was following him, and he was always scared. And it went like that everyday for almost a month, his friends already noticed that something was wrong with him, because he always got jumpy and scared even with just a fork landing on the ground. The threat affected his daily life and his emotional life, that Arthur would always had a hard time sleeping at night without locking everything in his room, or even checking every corner of his room to see if there was a person hiding in there. Kevin asked him countless times if he was okay, and he would always told him that he was just tired at school. Until one night during dinner, his dad told them that they would leave the house and moved overseas in three days to start a new life. His mom and his sister was surprised and confused but his dad told them not to asked questions and just started packing and just packed the necessary things. Arthur couldn't moved on his seat, the first thing that came into his mind was Kevin. He would leave Kevin without an assurance on when to comeback, or if he will ever come back. He wanted to tell Kevin the truth, but he was afraid Kevin would be in danger too, and so he lied, and told him some excuses that both of them knew it was bullshit.

"I am not asking you nor demanding you to prioritize me. I'm just asking you to accept me and include me in your life because it seems like these past few weeks you're keeping me in the dark. I can't even talk to you properly. What the fuck is wrong with you."

Arthur had enough, he wanted to shout, he wanted to scream his lungs out, he wanted to cry and cry until he couldn't cry anymore but he couldn't. He couldn't because if he opened his mouth and do it, his loved ones would be in danger. And so he did the least that he could do just to keep Kevin safe.

"You know what's wrong? It's you. You are always clingy, you always demand for affection, no matter where I look you're always there. And I am fucking tired Kevin. Aren't you tired of these? I just want some time for myself why can't you just fucking give me that? Let me live my life on my own, goddammit!" Arthur exclaimed. He didn't mean what he said, but he had to tell it to Kevin, if it means keeping Kevin safe. He looked at Kevin, and though his heart was breaking into pieces of how hurt Kevin looked, he remained stoic, he needed to stand firm on his decision, he needed to keep Kevin safe.

"So you're tired of me then. I didn't know that my mere presence was already suffocating you." Kevin chuckled, eyes glittered with tears.

"I thought we felt the same. I thought you trust me, too. But it looks like I'm wrong. All this time that we've been together, even before we admitted that we liked each other, I was there. I am already there for you, and I didn't know that it was suffocating you. You should've told me earlier, maybe I had stopped my feelings for you, I even had the chance to stay away." Kevin blinked his tears aways, he will not let himself cry in front of Arthur. Arthur immediately regretted his decision, he was about to speak but Kevin cut him off,

"No, stop. I don't want to hear your excuses anymore. If you're tired and done just say it. You don't have to make anymore excuses. And I'm sorry if I'm stuck with you always, I didn't know you're tired of it, that you're tired of me."

Before Kevin could broke down in front of Arthur, he spun around and walked away, leaving a regretful Arthur behind.