Surviving As A Cannon Fodder

CHAPTER 51

"Woaaah" I exclaimed covering my mouth in surprise. My eyes, on the other hand, were as round as saucers.

'Are those abs or what?' I ran my fingers down Edward's muscled abdomen.

Solid as a rock.

'Shouldn't being in a coma made him lose at least a bit of these?' I could not help but wonder.

I have seen abs before. Especially since I used to frequent the training grounds on a daily basis I knew what was expecting to find. But this was just... Wowie.

"Holy thoughts. Holy thoughts" 

I fanned my flushed face. The cold room had somehow transformed into a tropical zone in seconds.

I removed Edward's shirt and got off him. Since it was already half-open before I started.

'I shouldn't have sat on him from the start. Yet I regret nothing. It's not like he's going to know' I climbed down from the bed and tried to roll Edward over on his abdomen.

He was as heavy as he looked. But this much I could move.

"Huh!" I succeeded in rolling him over. I turned his head to the side so that he would not have trouble breathing and went back to business.

"Would you look at that gorgeous serpent"

*whistle*

I whistled at the sight of the intricate and magnificent snake etched on his back. 

Since I had already read the book I knew where to look for the curse pattern. And just as I expected the curse had spread across his back leaving behind an impressive painting in the process.  

It was a reddish-black serpent, the byproduct of the worst curse in history.

"It must have hurt a lot" 

I gently touched the snake pattern. It looked close to a real snake rather than a pattern. The curse was not contagious so there will be no issue if I touch it.

'Should I get a snake tattoo too? It does look good on him. I can put a small one on my arm... No! I can't lose focus!' I found myself going off track at the sight of the curse.

'Let's do that tattoo later. For now, I'll put it on my bucket list' 

After convincing myself, I check Edward's body for any other signs of the curse spreading.

Fortunately, Edward's people have been keeping his body from falling apart by purifying and blessing him continuously. It was all in the hopes that his curse would break someday.

It was also because of the trust they had in him.

Right now it's winter. Edward should wake up around summer. Which would take seven or eight months give or take. That will be plenty of time for me to disappear.

A concentrated amount of holy power is required to neutralize and break the curse.  A feat that could only be achieved by the saintess. But she disappeared without any trace.

So only the female lead who has superior holy powers can do it now.

"Havu's got you good huh....." I felt a bit sorry for him.

"Sorry pal. I would like to help. But my life is on the line too" I clicked my tongue and pulled my hand away.

"I don't even have an ounce of mana. Where am I gonna get a sh*t load of holy power to cure you"

I rolled him over to his original position. I needed to get him back to the way he was or else his attendants would be in for a surprise tomorrow.

I picked up the shirt that was on the floor and tried to put it on him. But it was not as easy as it looked. 

So once again I had to get on top of him. Since it would be faster this way.

"Here" I said placing my hand on Edward's chest.

"You need to purify your heart to break the curse" 

The heart is where a person's mana is generated. The snake in the curse was slowly by steadily eating it away. And when it reaches the last of it, the soul will no longer exist.

'As long as the reservoir holds, he won't die'

That would be the case for any other person. However, this was the male lead we were talking about, so that was never going to happen.

"So just hold on till the female lead shows up"

I know I'm in a compromising position now and I shouldn't be doing this to an unconscious person. But he's not complaining and I sure am not going to.

By the time Edward had his shirt back on him, I was panting from exhaustion. I slid down and laid on the bed beside him. 

I was blankly staring at the ceiling when I started thinking.

Cannon fodders are unimportant characters who are destined to die, to act as stepping stones for the main characters. They are disposable and quickly forgotten by everyone.

That was who I was.

A cannon fodder.

A stepping stone for someone else's happiness.

'The young Duchess Frost's carriage was attacked and she met an untimely death within the first month of her marriage"

That was the only line I had in the book.

Suddenly I felt a surge of emotions come over me.

I got up and sat on top of him for the third time of the day.

"Listen to me you punk" I grabbed his collar with force and started yanking it.

"I did not die, to be born again, only to die again because of you"

My hands trembled as I thought of my family.

"I'm not the female lead Helen" 

"I'm not selfless. And I'm certainly not the type to sacrifice myself for the welfare of a stranger"

I leaned down with my forehead touching him, as a tear slid down my cheek and landed on Edward's bare chest.

"I will not die here"

I pulled myself up.

"And I will not die for your cause, for your happiness, I won't"

"I'm the one who gets to make my destiny"

"Honestly speaking, you're not a saint either" I smirked

"You massacred an entire household using your wife's death as an excuse. Yet you didn't even bother to mourn her and went of speed dating Helen"

"You didn't care about me. So why should I give a rat's ass about you? Hell I don't even know you"

"And even if I were to die. I won't go down without a fight"

"I will survive this the way I am"

"I will survive as a cannon fodder" I let go of his collar after one final yank.

I have a month's time before they kill me off. I need to prepare for what's coming.

I got up and stood at the center of the bed with newfound determination. 

I raised my fist in the air and started singing the first song that popped in my head out loud.

~ Oh no, not I, I will survive

Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive

I've got all my life to live

And I've got all my love to give and I'll survive

I will survive, hey, hey ~

I continued singing the song in a loop till I got tired and eventually fell asleep.