can u not- Mattia Polibio

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u guys make my heart happy with ur comments so i just wanna say thank you because i've had a very hard past couple days with family issues
wattpad doesn't let me respond to comments (fuck u wattpad) so just know that i love every single one of u
thanks for being my besties❤️❤️❤️❤️😊😊☝🏼☝🏼

y/n pov:

i woke up the next day and changed into leggings and a dark blue crop top
i brushed my hair and teeth then back on my bed to scroll thru tiktok

i liked some fan edits and stuff then the nurse came in to check on me and all that

nurse: someone named mattia called about 10 minutes ago and said he's on the way

i nodded at her and she left the room

i was mad nervous cause idek what he wants to talk about but whatever

i heard a knock at the door about 5 minutes later

y/n: come in
the door opened a bit slowly and mattia stepped in

mattia: hey..
he said with a small smile
i told him to pull a chair over so he did

my heart pretty much sank when i saw him
i deep sighed
(not dramatically just regular breathing with some sadness LMAO)

he sat down while putting some stuff on the table

i looked down at my hands fidgeting with my fingers
it was silent for a moment but not awkward silence, just comfortable thinking of what to say silence

the window was open, letting in warm LA breeze

mattia: i'm really, really sorry y/n... everything is my fault and i take complete blame

i nodded slowly but didn't say anything, i could tell he had more to say

mattia: and i can't believe myself for putting you in the hospital AND IN A FUCKING COMA

(HE WASNT LITERALLY SCREAMING BTW LMFAO)

he got frustrated at the end of the sentence so i shushed him lightly

y/n: shh mattia please calm down your getting upset
he looked down regretting getting mad

i know he gets angry easily and he can't help that
it's anger issues and it's nothing he can control so i'm not gonna get mad at him for it

mattia: ugh- i'm sorry for yelling... i just know ur never gonna be mine again and it's destroying me

i'm not gonna tell him he's wrong or right
cause i'm not sure if there's ever going to be "us" again
i'm tired of getting hurt and i'm tired of forgetting what he did and moving on, just to be hurt again

i'm not saying that we can never be friends or i'll never forgive him
but i just don't know if us in a relationship is right for us

some people just don't work and there's nothing you can do about that
i want to believe me and mattia "work" because we have a lot in common and we laugh and have so much fun but not everything is based upon that

life is hard
people aren't always gonna be who you want them to be
i can't change mattia, but he can change himself
only if he wants to, if he really wants to then he can

me and him talked a bit more and i explained all of that in an easier way for him to understand without getting worked up

he grabbed his stuff and left after about 20 minutes

a few hours later the doctor came in and said i can leave tonight
thank God
i packed up all my things and called des

her and kairi came to pick me up and i checked out and got to the hotel

on the kinda long drive home i decided to tell them everything because i'm closest to them in the group

i want them to know and it's my thing to tell
anyways
they were in a lot of shock at first but they were very supportive and amazing about it

des said i can sleep with her in her room and robert will sleep with mattia and kairi or something

cause i was obviously NOT about to go near mattia, let alone sleep in the same bed as him
ur funny if u thought i'd do that

anyways we made a tiktok when we got to dunkin' for coffee
the song "take it take it hold my hair when i shake it"

and kairi SHOOK THAT ASSSSSS AHHH👅👅

i got a donut and coffee and they got the same

we arrived at the hotel and i walked right into des room to put my stuff down
kairi went into their room and grabbed my suitcase and bathroom products

we're only staying here like one more night or so

wow this is gonna suck

author note:
how r u all❤️