Promise Me | Book Three

Chapter Thirty-Four

Eren's POV

"How is the signal coming along?" I ask, peering over Juniper's shoulder. She fondles with some technology that I don't understand.
Her lips are pressed into a thin line as she works.
"It's flaky, but it should work when we're ready. How's... How's Armin?"

I swallow the lump in my throat. "You're asking the wrong person," I start. "But, I have a really important question about the operation."

"Shoot," Juniper says.

"So, you want Armin to set off the explosive twenty seconds before me, right? That'll leave a hole in the transportation tunnel... But, have you considered the fact that maybe it wouldn't just be the platform that's affected, but the tunnel as well? What if I can't get through?"

She stops what she's doing, resting her elbows against the workdesk. "Then, you both die."

"We both die? Th-that's all you've got for me?"

"I cannot guarantee anything for you, Eren. Anything!" She yells, turning to face me with her fiery eyes. "And that's the hard truth. You must accept these consequences. It's all or nothing and it seems you can't afford either of them. So, pick your poison."

Everything is hanging by a thread. It's down to what me and Armin choose to do within the next forty-eight hours.
The thought alone could send me into hysteria, so I cannot imagine how Armin is feeling, when his death is guaranteed.

"Just..." I start. "Let me know when it's set. I've got something to attend to."

I leave what is Juniper's makeshift workshop and manage to find Armin exactly where he was the last time I saw him: on the bench. It is falling apart, but it still holds up his weight.

I spend some time staring at the back of his head before approaching him. I press a hand to his shoulder, but he doesn't turn around to face me.

"Armin, you can back out at any time. We'll find another way."

"What other way?" That is when he tilts his head toward me. "There is no other way, and I've made my peace with it."
I walk around to sit beside him, our view being the graveyard of what was once a forest. It's so vast and wide, only making it seem more empty and dead. It's a heartbreaking sight.

"I don't want to lose you. You're my best friend," I say.

"I'm here because of you. You saved me. It's about time I finally do the same." His hand slips onto my thigh, and that's when I turn to him, his eyes brimming with tears, but a smile still prevailing.
"I wouldn't want to die any other way... I love you."

I swallow him in my arms, squeezing him tight. Before I know it, we are both wallowing into one another. It's heartbreaking, yet cathartic.

"I love you too."

We sit there for a while, this being the first time I remember truly sharing with him how I felt. Nobody would ever catch me telling Armin that I love him just a mere four years ago, but I understand now how Mikasa always sharing her vulnerabilities allowed me to finally understand that I can share mine. Armin had known this all along. But, then again, I was always behind him.
He's always been emotionally intellectual, and a huge part of me envied his capacity to be open.
It's this very openness that will allow me to defeat this obstacle, and find Mikasa once again.

He pulls away first, resuming to look at the remains of the trees in front of us.
"I wouldn't have it any other way," he whispers. "And I'm so proud of you."
I smile, but it hurts.
"I'll find her," I assure him. "I promise. I will find her. It won't be for nothing. It won't be."