Promise Me | Book Three

Chapter One

Eren's POV

I hear soft footsteps against the wooden floorboards. I raise my eyelids, and Mikasa stands in front of me with teary eyes.
"Mikasa?" I say, and my fatigue disappears within in an instant

I step up and await her response. "I'm sorry..." Mikasa croaks.
"Sorry for what?" I ask, my eyebrows furrowing lightly.

"I just thought it over, Eren." She says and then pauses for a while. I stay silent.
"I ran away like an idiot, and just left you here."

As soon as she says that, the words flow out of my mouth like a waterfall.

"How many times do I have to tell you to stop apologising to me? It's all ov-"
Mikasa interrupts me. "But, Eren, just please listen for a minute!" She yells a bit too loudly. "Let me get this off my chest for a moment, please?"

I nod and sit down with her.

"Ever since the day you found me, I've regretted what I did more than anything else before. I continue to ask myself why I did it, and I can never answer it because there was no good reason for it."
A tear drops out of her puffy eyes.
"I wish I could just undo everything. You had spent so much time looking for me, and you were worried sick, but you shouldn't of because I'm not worth it all!"

"Shut up, Mikasa." She looks up at me, I grab her hand. "You're worth it. You have always been worth it."

Mikasa's eyes widen, but then narrow. I decide to continue what I was saying. "You may not know why you left, but I do. You left because your heart told you to. Everything you was feeling needed to be let go, and that's why you left. I don't think you intended to go so far, or to be away so long, but that's just how it all turned out in the end." I say. "I'm glad it happened."

"Why? All you did was worry about me!" Mikasa says. "I'm glad it happened because now I love you more." I say, holding her hand tighter within mine, feeling the softness of her fingers clump together in my squeeze.

*flashback*

'I don't even need to turn my head towards her to know her expression changed. It dropped.

She let's go of me and looks to her knees.

"I'm sorry, I'll leave." Mikasa says, getting up from her place, leaving behind a ghost from where she had been sat.

Oh my God.'

"No..." I say. "You left because you thought I wanted you to."
She shakes her head, disagreeing.
"I don't think it was."

"Does it matter, Mikasa? We both screwed up, and we both did things we wish that we didn't, the both of us. There doesn't have to be an explanation for everything. Sometimes life carries you without your permission." I tell her, headstrong.
I see her shoulders begin to shake, she's going to cry even more. I pull her to me and hold her.

"Let it out. Just cry..." I say.

I hear and feel Mikasa take a deep breath, before she softly weeps. She slowly grows louder as she cries, and I hold her tightly, in hope to comfort her. Mikasa is holding back.

"Did you hear me, Mikasa?" I question, rhetorically and sternly.
"Cry. Shout if you want to, just let it go. Just, take it out on me."

And just like that, she lets it all out. I pat her back as she does so. Sometimes stopping to rub it in circles as if she is a baby trying to get to sleep.
Even her loud cries are quiet, but that is to be expected of her.

I lay down on the sofa, placing my head at the arm of it. I raise my arm to Mikasa and she lays down beside and tries to wipe her tears away.
I put my hand on her shoulder and say, "when you feel, don't deny it."
After several sniffs, she mutters, "I'm sorry, Eren," to bury her face in my chest and force her eyes shut.