Black and White (Rin Matsuoka x fem!OC)

47.

-Don't be upset for not telling you sooner.

-I'm the opposite, I'm surprised you tell me and that I didn't find out by someone else. Thank you for confiding me this Noah- he said taking my hands in his with care.

-You're my boyfriend, if there's someone I deeply trust is you. Maybe, that's why I was more worried of a negative reaction and it took me a few days to get the courage to tell you.

Rin smiled and hugged me briefly.

-I'm relieved that Sousuke could help you that first day. I'll make sure you're accompanied from now on- said Rin breaking the hug to see my reaction.

-How would you do that?

-By going with you.

-No

-Com'on, why not?

-You have other things to worry about than this, I'll handle it.

-This is no joke Noah, it's better if you don't go alone in case it happens again.

-No, Rin.

-Don't be stubborn. It's not like I find you uncapable of handling it. It's just that sometimes, it's better to not be able at those moments.

-I appreciate it, I really do. But I want to try to figure it out by myself.

Rin sighed and a worried expression was written all over his face.

-Look, it's happened only a few times, I have to relax and get over my fear. And I'll do that if I'm motivated enough to go by myself and work hard to get better quickly.

-Noah, I...

-I'll call you if I don't feel okay. Yeah?

-Yeah, fine. Even if you don't I will, so I expect you to answer my calls, okay?

-Of course, sharky- I said pecking his lips.

Three weeks passed by in the blink of an eye, I could walk more now, but still needed the therapy. I had thought about this fear I had and realized it was stupid, I didn't take seriously the first injury, but now I definitely was so there was no way it wouldn't work. The attacks stopped after a several days and now it was only a tingly sensation every time I entered the clinic.

Nevertheless, I reached to the psychology department that Haru suggested and now I had a weekly session to talk about this. I was aware that it could happen at any minute, so I tried to be calmer and reduce my stress while looking for the things that could trigger it. Luckily, a recommendation from the therapist was to swim for 60 minutes 3 days a week, so I took it. Rin let me use the pool after practice and maybe this was what I needed, because my mood was significantly better now. I guess, what happened was more of a combination of frustration, impatience, and stress. Or something like that.

One day after my time in the pool, I returned home with Rin and entered the flat to find Haru on the floor. The lights were off and with the light from outside I could see his figure sat on the floor, his eyes were closed, I've never found him like this before, so a feeling of distress settled in me. Rin was already on his way to his dorm, I thought of calling him, but I had to do this first.

-Haru? Are you okay?

I closed the door and turned on the lights, I left my bag on the floor and walked as quickly as I could to him, he was next to the bathroom door. I kneeled and he suddenly opened his eyes.

-Are you okay?

-Hmm?

-Haru, can you hear me?