Lesson Learned✔

24

Chris

I stared at my phone in disbelief, fingers tightening around it. I couldn't see her but I could fucking see the damn lie. 

I'm sorry but I can't go through with tomorrow. Don't look for me. 

I fucking laughed, my phone slipping out of my grasp, landing on the floor with a loud thud. It was late, I had just finished up with a patient when that message popped up. 

I had seen her name, had thought it was a goodnight message considering her sleep schedule but my heart dropped as I read it. My chest tightened, hands fisting. Blinking, I stared at nothing and everything, laughing and clenching my jaw. Disbelief, anger, humor, I didn't even know what the fuck to feel. 

I had been anxious all day because all that was on my mind was Aspen, thinking about how in a few short hours she'd be my wife. How I'd see her walk to me in a white dress and be legally allowed to kiss and fuck her afterwards- no not fuck but love.

There were so many questions on the tip of my tongue, swirling around my head, wanting to ask why the hell she couldn't? Why the fuck she was sending me a message and not telling me to my fucking face, on why the fuck she was killing me with those words. 

I didn't comprehend how she could send me this, we were fine, right? I hadn't fucked up anything, I hadn't left her anywhere, I had made sure she was healthy and happy. 

We were hours, we had come so far and she was backing away now? This was a joke, idiotoc and humorless. This was a mistake, this wasn't her. I knew her, I knew that she wanted this marriage. 

Picking up the phone, I pressed down on her name, calling her as I made my way outside the hospital. Work didn't matter, all that mattered was Aspen and the explanation she would give me. 

She had to give me one, she couldn't do this, she loved me. I knew it, I felt it with each kiss, I could taste our love on her lips. Sweet and thick and as real as it could get. 

I hadn't loved someone this much, with such devotion that I was willing to right all my mistakes, that I was willing to go to church every Sunday when I barely believed in that man. 

Standing outside the lit sidewalk, I waited and waited and waited but she didn't answer. Each call sent me to voicemail, my heart pounding with fear. I called again and again, my hands shaking more with each second, frustration wrapping my mind, angering me.

This was a shitty ass way to cancel a wedding, over a fucking message? That wasn't her. Aspen had tried leaving me once, had packed her bags but told me to my face, this was no different. And like hell would I allow her to leave me, if she wanted to cancel the wedding she could do that but to tell me not to look for her? Fuck no. She was carrying my children, I couldn't let her go without seeing them, without fighting for them, for her. 

Wiping away the tears that had fallen, I called again. Calling her, begging her to pick up. "Aspen, love. Please pick up, please answer me. I love you. Let's talk about this. Please baby." 

Nothing. 

I swallowed, emotion thick in my throat. Was it selfish for tying her? For wanting her to stay? To beg her to rethink? Hell no, fuck no, it was a joke, her message was a lie- Aspen couldn't do this. 

Vaguely aware of my actions, I made my way home, still calling her each second of the way, worry spreading. "Love, love, love, please."

Nothing. 

Opening the door, I was greeted by boxes littering the floor. We were still moving, still unpacking and organizing our home. She couldn't leave, we were continuing our story. She would have given me two kids, we'd live happily here, they would grow up and she would graduate with a master's in teaching. I'd take them to soccer or ballet, I'd gift them present, I'd love them, I-