Lesson Learned✔

25

Chris

Finding someone that your heart beats for is life changing, having them love you back is soul touching.

Having someone take that away from you is heart crushing and draining, it is leaving you without air. And now having that same person use not only your love but also the fruit of your love over your head was like taking away your will to live.

I crumbled with each passing hour, everyone telling me to wait, to be patient but I couldn't do any of that.

Every hour in which I didn't know what was happening was torture, only Aspen knew what Nydia was doing to her, telling her. And it sent me into a spiraling panic, it made my heart ache because I knew, or had an idea on what Nydia could do.

Nydia disliked Aspen, correction she hated Aspen enough to take her away from me, enough to not only spit lies in her face but also thread them in her mind. She hated her and I could only pray that she didn't touch Aspen, that she didn't hurt her or my kids.

Closing my eyes, I felt the heaviness on my shoulder, my head throbbing with uneasiness and tiredness. I needed to sleep but I didn't allow myself a second of it, not as I didn't have my love.

I wanted Aspen in my arms while I traced circles around her stomach, I wanted her to run her hands through my hair. I wanted to kiss her senseless, to trace every inch of her body with my lips, I needed to kiss her like I needed air.

But I couldn't, not when I didn't know where she was.

The cops told me that I should calm down, that they were doing everything in their hands. They said that as soon as Nydia called, as soon as she showed herself they would get her and track Aspen down but that was the problem.

Nydia didn't want money, she didn't care for it and if I didn't know what she wanted maybe I would have gone crazier than I already was but I did know what she wanted. I knew why she did this and it was my fault for letting everything go to her head.

Everytime it was my fault, with Theo, with Nydia, with everyone. Could I never do something right? Could I not be an actual fucking adult that had lived forty years and seen things to understand the fucking signs?

Apparently I couldn't.

Morning nearned and there was nothing, even Gio- Nydia's son couldn't get a hold of her.

I had tried it all, calling Nydia, looking for her, texting her to answer but it all was useless as she never answered. Even tracking Aspens phone was a dead end, not when it was but chips in the street.

One call was all I needed, I didn't care what she asked for. If she asked for my life for Aspens, I would fucking take it. I didn't care, I had lived, I would have loved to live longer besides Aspen but I'd do it.

I heard more than saw, heard the soft tapping of shoes, the whisk of clothes as someone took a seat across from me.

I was sitting outside, the fully decorated backyard empty except for me and whoever had just sat.

Had they not gotten the memo? Lilith had told me she would deal with it all, that she would talk to the guest and vendors, push the wedding until Aspen came home to me. Now the last thing I wanted to do was talk to people, was to act as if everything was fine when it wasn't.

But as I opened my eyes, I grew tight, hands fisting. "Hi Chrisy," Nydia smiled at me, batting her lashes.

So many profanities dipped my tongue, edging out to her, to spit and fucking destroy. And I would have said it all if she hadn't slid her phone to me, my heart shattering, the air trapped in my lungs as I saw the picture.