Lesson Learned✔

30

Christian

I knew Aspen was pregnant, I mean I had fucked her, her stomach was growing, I had seen them. But still all that was so small compared to feeling them, to be able to sense them move inside of her.

Fuck when I felt them under my palm I was struck by this- by this amazing gift, by her. I knew the human body, knew each function of the organ yet to have two baby's growing inside of her... it was amazing.

We knew they were getting bigger, that they now had all their hands and feet, that we were close to cradling them in our arms but it was still unbelievable, in the best way.

Aspen had first felt them a few days after we came back from California, had felt small kicks that jerked her awake. Had screamed for me, my own body jerking as she did because I had thought something had happened to her- to the babies.

I had kneeled in front of her, was ready to take her to the hospital when she grabbed my head and pressed it against her stomach. At first I didn't understand what she meant, until I did. I felt them, first a small kick, then another, kicks in different directions.

Nostalgia washed over me feeling them, each time reminding me that what I did would have turned out differently but it didn't and I was thankful because I got this. I had her, them, everything.

I returned to work three weeks after that, Aspen staying home most of the time. But unlike my previous months, I cut back on work, dramatically.

I got home at a decent hour, had dinner with her and slept with her. I took days off, sometimes had lunch with her at a nearby restaurant or she came to me with food. We talked and had dates, I didn't take her for granted or even forget about her. Not when each time I unlocked my phone I saw her in her bikini holding her bump in the California beach. Not when the ring sat on my finger, reminding me what I had home.

Days turned into weeks which turned into months. Months filled with waiting.

But now? Aspen was growing more infuriating with each day we got closer to her delivery date, which was still off but it didn't help.

I could handle her various emotions but she cried a lot and sometimes it was for such small things. Just last week she cried because of a movie we were watching, because the dog in the end came back to his owner and somehow even when it was a different dog, he recognized him.

Then there was the craving. God, I knew she had to eat but sometimes they hit at the most random times of the day, or night. I had been sent various times to get her food, had been pulled out of my sleep for her and as much as I wanted to say no, I couldn't not when she kissed me.

It meant me sleeping with her leg over my stomach because she couldn't get comfortable, it meant waking up without my pillow because she used it for her stomach even when I had gotten her one for it. It meant I had to hear her snore not that I would ever tell her that. It meant I got to massage her feet and no that wasn't bad because I got to touch her and got to hear those small moans from her.

I loved her, I did but I was also getting tired.

I worked and I was fixing the house, baby proofing making sure all the floorboards were stable. I was also reading non stop on pregnancies, looking over what to do when the day came if I somehow needed to deliver them myself. Because I would if Dr. Evanston couldn't, if somehow we couldn't make it to the hospital. Which I doubted because I was ready, we had the bags, the clothes, we were ready...

Now we stood- correction, Aspen sat on the bench while I stood, water cascading over us as she sat there with a bright smile.

Somehow I had started showering, then Aspen had walked in with a pouty face, telling me she couldn't reach her toes, saying that she needed to shave her legs but couldn't bend down.