Lesson Learned✔

3

Aspen

I felt Chris slip in next to me late at night, his hands going to my hips. Underneath my shirt as me mumbled an apology against my neck. For a split second as his hand traveled down to my thighs, I forgot what he did. 

All I could feel was his soft touch on my sensitive skin, his warm breath. I could have forgotten what he did, it should mean nothing that he didn't show up. That it didn't matter because he was here now, next to me. But I couldn't, I'd let things slide. I'd let him work while I ate dinner alone. 

My heart sank as I rolled away from him. Angry, distressed and very much sad. He didn't reach out for me again and when I turned I saw he was fast asleep. His hand in between us, my heart squeezing. 

Chris didn't even try. 

The next morning I woke up to him gone. A bundle of emotions knotting in my stomach and mind. Sadness, anger, frustration. 

A sleepy sorry was not an apology for leaving me. I wanted to yell at him for doing that. For being an ass and not even asking how I was. For letting me sit in the rain until Elijah came along. 

Going to school, I was in the worst mood. No calls, no notes. No shit from Chris. I didn't even bother to call him, I had nothing to apologize for.

My heart sank a little, squeezing with every second that passed. Driving home after school, I sat in my car. Head resting against the steering wheel, anger building up. Threatening to spill out of me, frustrating. I just wanted an apology. 

If Chris could just tell me he didn't mean to leave. That he didn't forget me. I screamed into the empty car, tears streaming down my face. Hot and salty. It had been more than one year of this. It hadn't bothered me before, but now it did. It bothered me I had to eat alone. That even thought I had friends, I wanted to talk to Chris about my day.

I should have gotten used to it. Not seeing him. Him canceling on me, but I hadn't. 

Wiping my tears, I took in a deep breath before heading to the door. Chris wasn't here, it didn't matter if I looked like this. He wouldn't know I cried, he wouldn't even ask if I was okay. He wouldn't know. 

With eyes downcast, I pushed the door open. Crossing the threshold with a heavy sight, another chip of my heart dropping to the floor. It was fine. 

It was his job. I couldn't be mad at him for saving lives. He was helping people, he saved people.

Turning around, I gasped. Chris stood feet away from me, holding a beautiful bouquet of roses in his arms. Red roses for love, our love. A love that was being pulled to a strain. "Why do you cry?" 

His grey eyes were full of concern as he stepped to me, sorrow filling them. Voice soft as if I were a lost puppy. And maybe I was, the person who was supposed to be there. Was gone more than half the time. "Aspen what's wrong?" 

I had so much to say, so much to reprimand him for. To yell at him, to tell him that I was tired of his work. Of his lack of attention, it was selfish. But I just wanted one day. One day a week, that was all. Chris made to scoop me up in his arms, but I stopped him. "You left me." 

His brows pulled together, "This morning? I had to check in with a-" I shook my head. 

"Yesterday. You left me. I was waiting for you, hoping you were okay. That you didn't call me because you were driving and didn't want to have an accident." Chris swallowed, dropping his hands to his sides. 

"I thought you were hurt. And when you called me, you didn't ask if I was fine. It was pouring while I sat outside. Crying-" I wiped fallen tears from my eyes. "You hung up on me forgetting that you were my ride." He froze, eyes going wide.