The Darkest Night Will End

Cafe Musiain, Paris, July 14th, 1831

Cafe Musian, Paris July 14, 1831

Jacquelyn slumped in the corner of the back room at the Musain, actually early by an hour for the first time since they'd gained more days working at the docks.

The only other person in the room was Enjolras, who, it seemed to them, must've lived in the damn room because they'd never actually seen him leave.

He'd barely noticed them slinking in and falling down into the seat in the corner opposite where Grantaire usually sat.

They stifled yet another yawn, wishing they had told De La Rue that they couldn't start working more days on top of days at the book shop.

Jacquelyn had spent the week fighting off exhaustion from nonstop work and sleepless nights, by then they had been running on fumes, and they couldn't fight off the darkness that overcame them.

Enjolras had finally realized they were there just as they were falling asleep, head starting to slip from their hand. He quickly got up, -definitely not compelled by that tugging in his stomach, it's because he'd do it for Gran- no he'd do it for anyone in the group- and wrapped his jacket around their shoulders. Sighing, he went back to work at his table, trying not to continually glance at them.

Jacquelyn's head slipped out of their hand and they jolted awake for a moment, glancing around out of habit to make sure nothing had happened. The room was still quiet as the sound of Enjolras' writing stopped, "Are you alright? You uh, look panicked."

"Yeah, I'm, I'm okay." They muttered.

Enjolras hummed and tried to refocus on his writing as they buried their head in their arms on the table.

Slowly in the darkness Jacquelyn floated away to something that was almost like a memory.

The night before they had been shipped off to Tuolon it had gotten dark very early, and the officer who had been on watch duty where they were being, had allowed them to write messages to be sent to William and Grantaire, explaining what happened.

Around 7 pm the same officer had helped sneak Grantaire in to see them.

He'd been near hysterical, mad that they'd lied, terrified about their going to prison, angry that they trusted Montparrnasse, and just disappointed in general.

"Jacquelyn." He barely whispered upon seeing them curled in the tiny holding cell.

"Taire."  They looked up with tears in their eyes. 

Of all the things rushing into his head to say the first thing Grantaire managed to spit out was "What the fuck have you done?"

"Taire it wasn't me, I swear, you believe me right? It was Montparrnasse R, it wasn't me." Jacquelyn said, standing up and moving to the bars that separated them.

Out of habit Grantaire started to reach out to wipe their tears away but stopped himself, "It doesn't matter, you messed up."

"I know, I'm sorry. We'll figure this out, once I come back." They said, reaching through the bars to grab his hand.

"Two years, they're taking you for two years! It's prison Jacquelyn, not a walk in the park! You could die!"

"I know!" They roared, "I just want- I just want to be able to look forward to something, something to come back too." 

"But what if you don't come back! We're already broken people Jackie! And you just broke us!"

"R, I- we- Fine! We're damaged, really damaged. But that doesn't mean we're through!  Taire, I'm trying to fix things!"

"If you wanted to fix things you wouldn't have gone with him, you would be staying here, You wouldn't have lied to me! You wouldn't have to spend your birthday being carted off to prison!"  He yelled, tears spilling out of his eyes.

"I messed up, I might not deserve this, but we don't choose if I stay or go, when I come back, we can be normal, or as close as we can." 

Grantaire sighed, "You don't get it, that won't happen."

"Don't you want a life with me?" Jacquelyn looked up at him, "Can't we be seventeen?"

"I'm still 19." The man mumbled.

Jacquelyn ignored him, "That's all I want to do, If you could wait for me, I swear I won't mess up again, people hurt us-"

"Or they lie" He cut in.

"And your right, I did lie, but I'll be back-"

"But nothing changed, and it's possible you can die, and I don't want that, not even after what you did to me."  Grantaire sang softly.

"That won't happen, I won't let it, hey, hey, Don't stop looking in my eyes."

"Your eyes." He echoed.

They stood there looking at each other for a moment, tears falling from both sets of eyes before beginning to sing in tandem, "Can't we be seventeen? Is that so hard to do? If you (i) would wait for me (you), I (you) won't lie again, Let us be seventeen! If we still have the right,"

"So what's it gonna be? I wanna be with you." Jacquelyn sang, lifting a hand to cup Grantaire cheek.

"I wanna be with you."

"Wanna be with you." They smiled.

"Just not to-night..." As he added the words their face fell.

"We'll figure this out, when I get back right?"

"Of course." He lied.

"I love you."
"I love you too."

And that at least, remained true, even now as Grantaire's gaze shifted between Jacquelyn and Enjolras, the two angles it seemed would forever fuck with his life.

Enjolras stood as usual in the front of the room, asking for ideas and opinions on his and Combeferre's new plans. Jacquelyn was still asleep in the corner, legs crossed under themself, braids tucked up in their hat, and wrapped in Enjolras' jacket.

Jacquelyn woke up having seen their past self saying goodbye to Grantaire.

When they realized they hadn't fallen asleep in their own flat they immediately started in a panic. Out of something of a habit she quickly checked herself over to find they were still dressed as a man for work at the docks.

They sighed relieved, and winced against the bandage tied around
their chest, looking over at Grantaire, who naturally was looking at Enjolras, "Yeah we're damaged."