The Darkest Night Will End

Cafe Musain, Paris, March 4th, 1832

Grantaire groaned into his fifth pint of the night, he had already had a long day, but now, forced to watch Enjolras and Jacquelyn be happy at the ABC meeting, he felt he could keel over and die.

Several weeks passed since their announcement, and since his outburst, and while they all claimed to be on good terms now, the rift that everyone was sure had closed up during the late months of 1831 was now wide open again, and Grantaire found himself desperate to forget all that had happened.

Still he found himself drawn to the place where his friends met, even if it meant he would blind himself just seeing the loves he would never hold.

"R if you order another one I swear to god I will get Baz to forcibly remove you from the restaurant." Muischetta hissed, grabbing his now empty tankard.

"You wouldn't." He said, looking up at her.

Bossuet and Joly both looked at him and said in unison, "She would."

"Fine, fine." Grantaire held his hands up in defeat.

"I'll bring you some water," She said, balancing his mug on the tray already crammed with the other empties from the back room, "Lord knows you need it."

Jehan snickered, glancing up at Grantaire from his work, just long enough to catch his annoyed look, and scrunch his nose up in retaliation.

It was late by the time Grantaire had shuffled out of the cafe, and the rain the Joly had been nervously chattering about still hadn't let up, so he resigned to forlornly watch Jacquelyn and Enjolras head around the corner to their flat, before slowly turning to head home.

He sighed, waving to Feuilly, who had exited behind him and was already hurrying down the street.

"And now I'm all alone again, nowhere to turn, nowhere to go to," Grantaire sighed again, looking around at the buildings that lined the street before trudging on, "Without a real friend, without a face to say hello to. And now the night is near, now I can make believe they're here.

"Sometimes I walk alone at night when everybody else is sleeping. I think of them and then I'm happy with the company I'm keeping. The city goes to bed, and I can live inside my head!"

He paused to lean up against the side of another building, slicking hair wet with rain up and out of his face, and taking a trembling breath, "On my own, pretending they're beside me. All alone, I walk with him till morning. Without her, I feel her arms around me, and when I lose my way I close my eyes and they have found me."

The slow walk continued, Grantaire not bothering to avoid the puddles that seemed to grow among the cobbles, still trying to lose himself in his dream.

"In the rain, the pavement shines like silver, all the lights are misty in the river. In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight, and all I see is them and me forever and forever!"

He swallowed, taking another heaving breath, "And I know, it's only in my mind, that I'm talking to myself and not to her! And although I know that he is blind! Still I pray, there's a way for us."

"I love them! But when the night is over, he is gone, the rivers just a river!" He cried, almost spitting the next words, "Without her, the world around me changes! The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers!"

Grantaire's clothes were now soaked through with the rain, but he didn't seem to care as he threw his arms in a wide arc, "I love her but everyday I'm learning, all my life I'd only been pretending! Without me, his world would go on turning! A world that's full of happiness that I will never know!"

The quick, heaving sobs were returning as he nearly collapsed against the wall, forcibly rubbing tears mixed with rain out of his eyes with his fists.

"I love him, I love her,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I love them," He let out another choked noise, "But only on my own."

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Ope, sad boy hours.

N E way, we're about half way through guys!