Break My Heart (Mew x Gulf)

Chapter 36: We Need To Talk About Gulf

Not only did Gulf wake up with a pounding headache, but a deep feeling of shame and embarrassment.

It'd taken him a moment or two but he managed to recollect his memories of the night before, and needless to say, he didn't like what he remembered. He wondered if it would've not been better had he not remembered, at least then he'd still have his dignity and pride.

Thinking back on his actions, Gulf couldn't quite come to terms with how he'd acted the night before, how he'd practically thrown himself at Mew and complained about not being enough for him. What the hell did that even mean?

That was so uncharacteristic of him, flaunting himself for attention, and for Mew nonetheless. The last time he did that was when he was five and had thrown a tantrum to get his mother's attention. He felt disappointed in himself, acting so immature for what? Nothing.

And he knew he couldn't blame it on the alcohol, he'd felt all those things even before getting drunk, if anything the alcohol just amplified it.

And Mew? What was he going to think of him now? Had he ruined another friendship? And all because he felt neglected. Then he got mad at Mew for not telling him what was going on with him. That was just plain insensitive of him. He had probably been telling the truth when he said he was just busy and didn't have time on his hands for other things. It was wrong of him to lash out. Now Mew probably didn't want to talk to him anymore. Who would? He was a completely jackass last night.

Releasing out a small groan, Gulf throws his head back onto the soft pillow behind him, his eyes emotionlessly blinking up at the ceiling above. Considering he felt like shit meant that he probably looked like it as well. He wanted nothing more than to just go back in time and change everything he'd done, do it differently, and definitely not drink as much as he had.

"Oh, you're awake." The voice had Gulf flinching, proving to him that last night was indeed not a dream.

With a small gulp he sits up to face the elder, running a hand through his greasy hair before bringing his eyes to meet Mew's, surprised when he was met with a cute lop-sided smile. He didn't seem upset at all.

Mew gets up from his bed and walks over to his 'kitchen', turning back around with a glass of water and something else clutched in his other hand.

"Here, I'm assuming your head doesn't feel all to great." Mew sits on the edge of the bed, passing him the glass of water and an aspirin tablet. Gulf takes them meekly with a small 'thanks'.

After swallow the tablet down with the water silence envelopes them and Gulf is left feeling even worse. Clearing his throat, Gulf's eyes are glued to his lap as he opens his mouth to speak.

"You're not upset with me?"

"What? What is there to be upset with you about?" Gulf looks up with a frown, meeting Mew's own confused expression.

"Last night I... I was rude to you a-and then when we got back here and I came onto you like that. I acted so insensitely and lashed out at you..." Gulf watches Mew's facial expressions as he talks, but there's nothing to give away what he's thinking or feeling, his expression passive.

Mew sighs softly, and for a mere second Gulf thought he saw pain in his eyes, but it was gone before he could even tell for sure. "It's... fine." Gulf blinks in disbelief.

"What? It's the furthest thing from 'fine'. I acted irrationally and shouldn't have behaved the way I did, and I'm... I'm sorry."

"Gulf... I'm not mad or upset with you, really, I can understand where you were coming from and I don't blame you for getting upset. Because truth is, I was actually kinda avoiding you."