Heartache

Chapter 36. Memories

After I had forgiven Kageyama Osamu volunteered to take Kageyama home. Everyone agreed and thanked Osamu, everyone said their goodbyes and went to their cars. As I get into Atsumu's car I look at him to see he was smiling at me. I blush lightly "why are you looking at me like that?" I ask turning away in embarrassment. He grabs my chin and turns me towards him, he slowly pulls me into a kiss. I kiss him back softly closing my eyes enjoying the softness of his lips.

     We pull away from the kiss and he turns the car, he turns back towards me with an adorable smile. "I love you so much Shoyo... just looking at you makes me smile." Atsumu continued to smile as he spoke, I blush lightly. "I love you more Tsumu... I've loved you for as long as I could remember," I said causing him to blush this time, he switched the gears and started driving.

       We sat in silence for a few minutes just listening to the radio and vibing with the music.  As we were on the road it had started raining, I look outside watching the rain hit the window. "Yknow Shoyo.... the rain always reminded me of you," Atsumu said still focusing on the road as I turn towards him quickly. "Really?" I ask raising an eyebrow as if he's gonna look at me instead of the road. "Yeah... don't you remember that day?" Atsumu said and the memories came flooding back.

Flashback~

      I could feel everyone's eyes staring at me. I had placed my hoodie over my head avoiding the concerned looks as I walk through the halls. After my first year, it seemed like my life had gone downhill. I head outside, it's the end of the day and my body couldn't take all of the stares anymore. I started running, I had never felt so uncomfortable as I had that past year. After running for a few minutes I slowed down to a walking pace. I started crying letting the tears roll down my cheeks, I could never let someone see me cry. It hurt so much and I didn't know what I could've done about it. The tears wouldn't stop coming and it started to rain. I didn't bring my bike that day because it was nice outside, I remember cursing at my stupidity. I checked my phone to see many messages, I close my phone when I see they're all just my friends talking about random things. The rain had gotten harder and I started crying even harder, my heart hurt. I hated existing, 'why did I have to be in such a world where no one even liked me?' I thought, I stop in the middle of the sidewalk rain stinging my back from how hard it is. I fell to my knees covering my face crying, I was so tired of everything. Living wasn't exactly as fun as it used to be, I hated breathing and I hated being on this horrible earth. But why? I had everything I want and could need, why did I feel like that? Why did I hate people communicating with me then?

Bzzzzt bzzzzt

I had heard my phone ringing and I ignored it getting up from the floor. I started running again, wondering where the run will take me. The sound of the rain and splashing puddles surrounding me as I kept running. My whole body was soaked but I couldn't care, I wanted everything to stop.

Bzzzzt bzzzzt

I ignore it again and continue running until I stopped at a tiny bridge going over a small lake. I looked underneath the bridge and saw a small place for me to sit and not get wet. I ran to the area and sit down in the wet grass, I could tell it was gonna get stuck on my pants but I didn't care. I hugged my knees for warmth and bury my face in between my legs. Letting out all of the tears listening to the sound of the rain hitting the water. I could hear cars driving by, beeping and being loud.

Bzzzzt bzzzzt

I got frustrated and threw my phone to the side continuing my crying. Whoever keeps calling me needed to stop, I wanted to be alone. But I also wanted someone to be with me, 'why did everything I do have to be so complicated? My thoughts are horrible, I would always negatively think about myself. Anytime something bad happens it's always my fault, I can never do anything right. I don't even deserve to have these types of feelings which makes me feel even worse.' Were my thoughts as I continued crying.  I could feel my throat tighten and my head started to hurt from the severe crying that I was doing. 'I hated feeling like this, it didn't  make any sense.' I thought as I punched the soft dirt in frustration. 'why do I feel like this!?' I thought again as I could hear footsteps but I couldn't care, whoever it is probably wouldn't even care about me. They were getting closer and I sat there silently hoping they didn't find me. It got quiet, only the sound of the heavy rain is heard.

"Hinata?!"

I heard a voice shout my name, I didn't say a word. Who was it? I didn't recognize that voice, I pulled the strings to my hood so I could cover my face. I could feel the presence of someone next to me, I refused to turn towards them. "Hinata! You had me worried!" That voice said again, I could feel them pull me into a hug. They didn't feel like anyone I know. 'who is this?' I thought as They pulled away from the hug I opened my hood revealing my red eyes, puffy and tear-stained cheeks. I looked towards the person now remembering who it was. "You look like you're having a tough day... don't worry. We can go through it together." He looked at me with a reassuring smile. I start to tear up again from the sight, someone actually looked for me in this rain. Someone actually cares for me.

"Thank you... Atsumu"

Flashback end~

I smile remembering how Atsumu was there for me when I needed him the most. Now every time he sees rain it reminds him of me, I feel A happy tear roll down my cheek. "Tsumu... you remember that day too?" I ask and he laughs at me. "Of course Shoyo! How could I ever forget the day I and you got close? You were the only thing keeping me going." Atsumu said causing me to gasp startling him. "Tsumu... you... wanted to end it all too?" I ask and Atsumu's eyes get big in shock. "No no... I..." he sighed softly in defeat, glancing at me with sad eyes quickly. "Yeah... I was too." Atsumu's whole demeanor had changed after he agreed.

       I stare at him in shock, why hadn't he ever said anything about that to me? "Tsumu... I never knew..." I place my hand on his thigh for comfort as I continued looking at him. He looked so sad right now, I wonder how long he felt like that. "Tsumu... do you still feel like this?" He smiles placing one of his hands on my hand while keeping the other on the wheel. "Of course not.. that was back when I had no friends and felt lonely.. you've changed that Shoyo," Atsumu said rubbing his thumb on my hand.

        I smile and place my other hand on top of his. "I love you so much Tsumu.." was all I could say to his kind words and He smiles with that extremely attractive smile of his. "I love you too Shoyo.. more than I could put into words." He said to me keeping his eyes on the road. I yawn stretching my arms really big, causing Atsumu to chuckle. "Get some sleep babe, I'll wake you up when we get home okay?" Atsumu said in response to me yawn and I nod getting comfortable. I give out a relaxed sigh and slowly fall asleep to the sound of the quiet radio playing a nice slow song.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Hey reader! Thank you so much for reading! We got a little backstory for how these two started becoming more friendly. I hope you're having a great day! And I'll see you in the next chapter!