Cote: What If's [ONGOING]

What If: To The Girl Who Loved Me

Moving on.

It's one of the few actions that I think wouldn't be too hard for me.

In some literature works. Moving on means you're giving up.

It means you're not brave enough to try again. And sometimes in romance it signifies tragedy.

Thinking of it this way. Mine was definitely the latter.

It was bound to happen sooner or later. But I didn't expect it to happen this soon.

"Kei."

Moving on.

Moving on.

Moving on...

A new chapter.

In the dictionary it literally means "leave". So is it fine for me to leave your life without any closure?

We didn't even share anything too significant. At least on my end it seemed that way.

But for you...

You probably got tired of me.

Got tired of me being quiet.

Got tired of me being creepily sharp.

Got tired of me being boring.

But for me it just meant that this was never supposed to work out anyway.

I fully expected that this relationship would not work because only one side was making it work.

That being you.

But you're the only person whom really accepted me. I might've not shown everything that is to see of me but nonetheless.

You did.

And for that I thank you.

Now with me leaving your side and you being happy with someone else. I wholeheartedly wish upon your happiness.

Even if that meant that I'll be alone in my life once again.

A connection like that really means a lot for someone who does not believe in human warmth.

I long for that feeling once again.

Even after you're gone.

Even after...

Even after all this time you're all I could think about.

I didn't think it would be this hard to get a hold of my stone cold life once again.

I wanted to live in warmth. Not in a world of white once again.

I'm sick and tired of living that way.

Sick and tired of living the same day over and over again.

No sign of a better tomorrow where I could once again hold your hands.

"Heh."

I guess life would be downhill from now on.

Hoping for more than this would probably make me seem selfish.

I probably would now live once again in the steps my father would want me to take.

There's nothing more in this world I hate doing more than following his will.

But what can I do?

It doesn't seem fair for me to have something much more than this when I wasted that opportunity myself.

Then with my final goodbye.

I gaze at the horizon of the school.

Goodbye my hope for the future.

Goodbye the hands that I held.

Goodbye my one and only human warmth.

Goodbye my other half.

And goodbye to the old me.

Goodbye...

Please don't forget about me...

Please...

~•~•~•~

Heya. This is just a chappie of me ranting about my life and I self inserted myself lmao.

What would a fanfic writer do when they're sad? Of course write a fanfic lol.

Anyway hope ya'll have a good day and not one where you need to suffer.