SpiderMan Avengers One shots Dad!Tony

High As A Kite

Peter's not a rebellious kid, he doesn't take drugs, he doesn't drink alcohol or sneak out and go to wild parties involving both of those things. Even if Peter did, Bruce and Tony are pretty sure his metabolism is like Steve's. This means he can't get drunk or high or whatever else kids these days do.

However, one thing the spiderling still needs is sleep... something he doesn't get too much of between slinging around the city, school and helping Tony in the lab. So, Peter is usually fairly tired. Here's the thing, when Peter gets really really tired, he can hardly think straight. A few months ago, the first time it happened since he moved into the tower, he thought that Peter was actually on drugs. To Tony's happiness... and amusement, the kid was just overworked and really freaking tired.

...

The closing credits rolled and the lights turned back on. The Avengers slowly sat up from thier spots on the couch so they could retreat into their own bedrooms. That is until they all saw Peter sitting up next to Tony [his dad] with a look of utter confusion on his face. His eyes are slightly red from tiredness, and dark bags cover underneath his eyes.

"What's up buddy?" Tony asks trying to conceal his smirk. When Tony told the other Avengers the story of what happened last time he was this tired, they didn't believe him. Now they get to witness it themselves. Of course, Tony didn't want Peter to be this tired, in fact, tomorrow he is going to get a nice lecture, but might as well have fun with it for the moment.

He tilts his head to the side in confusion, "How do you walk?" His sleepy voice is slightly slurred, just like a drunk person. At least if Peter was drunk he would be the happy drunk kind of guy.

The other Avengers chuckled and Tony let out a small laugh, "You put one foot in front of the other, kid."

Peter snorted, "I knnnooowww, that's a song from Santa Clause is coming to town," Peter sighed and started screaming at the top of his lungs, "You put one foot in front of the other and soon you'll be walking out the door," he took a deep breath, "but why does that make you mooovvveee." Peter giggled at the vibration the letter 'v' made on his lips.

By now, the other Avengers are practically laughing hysterically. Tony does his best to stay calm, "It's simple physics kid. Newton's laws and all that stuff. I know you know it. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction so when you push your foot down onto the Earth, the Earth pushes up on you so you go the direction you applied the force."

"WOW! Science rules," Peter giggles to himself again, "Bill Nye the science guy, Bill Nye the science guy, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill Nye the science gu- WAIT! If the Earth moves me forward does that mean I move the Earth backward?"

Peter looks towards the genius with wide eyes, "Technically, kid, but the Earth's mass huge so the force your foot applies is nowhere near big enough to actually move the Earth."

Peter sighs deeply, "That's so cool, dahbby."

Tony quirks an eyebrow Peter eagerly responds, "Dahbby, like dad but dah."

Tears are leaking out of the Avengers eyes and Tony can't help but chuckle a little more. Peter looks around for a moment before his eyes settle on the clock that reads midnight, "WOAH! Midnight already? I gotta get forty winks, Mr. Stark," Peter finishes seriously.

"What does that mean, Pete?"

"Y'know, hit the hay, take a siesta, time to ride the rainbow to dreamland," Peter elaborates, Tony just nods. Peter stands up dramatically, "Nighty nighty, family, sleep tighty tighty," Peter smiles to himself, "haha that rhymes."

The other Avengers attempt to wish Peter goodnight through fits of laughter as Peter walks away he mutters to himself, "I push on the Earth, the Earth pushes back on me, I push on the Earth, the Earth pushes back on me, I push on the Earth, the Earth pushes back on me... Science rules...put one foot infront of the other... Bill Nye the science guy... and the you'll be walking out the doooOOOooor... I push on the Earth, the Earth pushes back on me... BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL! Bill Nye the Science guy. GOODNIIIIIGHT, GOODNIIIIGH!" His voice rose and octive like in the Sound of Music, "GOOODNIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!"

Tony followed behind him to his room, before he walked in the door Peter was out like a light on top of all his covers. Tony walked in and covered him up carefully.

"Night, kid."

...

I don't know anymore.

-EB