SpiderMan Avengers One shots Dad!Tony

Oh Peter

A/N so I watched the Avengers press conference for Endgame and they where talking about how it is the end of the line and such and it made me almost cry 😭. Anyhow it's on you tube so y'all should check it out (sadly no spoilers for Endgame)

New user name @whateverittakes827

Enjoy Today's Addition of Avengers on Crack:

"Hey Female Replacement Intelligent Digital Assistant Youth (FRIDAY), can you please play the song Another one bites the dust by queen when Tony walks in?"
Friday doesn't respond so I take that as a yes.
Moments later Tony walks in the room and FRIDAY starts pumping loud music over the speakers:

Steve walks warily down the street
With the brim pulled way down low
Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet,
Machine guns ready to go

Tony stops in the middle of the room frowning.

Are you ready, hey, are you ready for this?
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
To the sound of the beat

Tony's eyes turn glassy and he clutches his heart.

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you, too
Another one bites the dust
How do you think I'm going to get along
Without you when you're gone?

"PETER!!" Tony screams.

You took me for everything that I had
And kicked me out on my own
Are you happy, are you satisfied?
How long can you stand the heat?
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
To the sound of the beat

Peter chuckles. (Evil devil child)

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you, too
Another one bites the dust
Hey
Oh take it
Bite the dust
Bite the dust
Hey
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust oww
Another one bites the dust hey hey
Another one bites the dust eh eh

Tony is now laying on the floor clutching his head.

Oh shooter
There are plenty of ways that you can hurt a man
And bring him to the ground
You can beat him, you can cheat him
You can treat him bad and leave him when he's down
But I'm ready, yes, I'm ready for you
I'm standing on my own two feet
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
Repeating to the sound of the beat oh yeah
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone

He lets out a scream.

Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you, too
Another one bites the dust
Oh shooter hey hey, all right

Tony stands up and rubs his eyes glaring at Peter. Peter runs up to Tony like the smol bean he is and gives his dad a hug.
"Don't. Do. That. Ever. Again."
Peter nods and lets go if his kid then disappears back into his lab.
That night he mad a new protocol called: A bad Language Song
Basically that son is banned from the tower and all of Tony's home/vehicles.
NEW STORY ...
Peter and Tony walk out of the lab for the first time in nearly twelve house. Once they step into the elevator Peter noticed a small sheet of snow on the ground. He chuckled and pointed, "Look! It's a dusting!!"
Right before Peter said that Tony took a sip of Coffee and started choking ok it.
"What if some of my ashes got stuck in the atmosphere and that's why I have a scratch on my leg!!! Then God decided he wanted it to snow and all my ashes fell out!!"
Tony continues gagging on his coffee eventually spitting out on the glass wall of the elevator.
Peter smiles and patted Tony's back oblivious to the panic/heart attack he just gave his dad.
That night Tony stayed up making a new protocol: Gosh Darn it Watch Your Language
Basically FRIDAY could sense anytime someone was about to say the word 'dust' and bleep them out to prevent more panic/heart attacks.