NOT NOW // D.S

2.0

I spent a few hours sitting down at the beach, toes in the sand, the waves crashing against the sand. I had my knees pulled to my chest, my arms wrapped around my legs, head rested on top of them.

I needed to clear my head, but I couldn't stop thinking.

Maybe my family's right? Maybe I can't be on my own.

Maybe I am too impulsive?

I can't even commit to a guy so why should I be allowed to make my own decisions.

Wow, I really am the fuck up if the family. But when you have Loren and Austin to live up to? What do you expect?

"Hey," someone said behind me. I turned to look up at who it was, JD?

"I was getting back from filming when I saw you leave the apartment," he explained, "You looked like you wanted to be alone and I was covered in fake blood and bruises so I probably looked insane so I showered before coming to check on you"

"I'm fine, you don't have to check on me," I lied, forcing a smile.

"Okay you're a terrible liar," he chuckled, taking a seat next to me in the sand, "What happen?"

"Nothing, it was dumb, you'll think I'm just over dramatic," I sighed.

"No judgement here, tell me," he smiled.

"I got into an argument with my brother about how I kinda disappeared for four days," I sighed.

"Were you with Drew?" he questioned. I forgot he knew about that for a second.

"No, I was in the studio, but the argument escalated and I figured out why my parents wanted me to come stay with him," I explained, "They don't trust me to be on my own, I'm too much of a risk"

"Huh?" he said confused.

"I'm a 'problem' child, meaning I don't always follow what my parents want and I just do whatever without thinking about the consequences," I half joked.

"Like this," I said pointing to the tattoo on my wrist, "I just let a friend do it when we were drunk"

"Oh," he laughed looking at the tattoo on my wrist that read 'be good', "Kind of opposite of that tattoo"

"Exactly," I laughed.

"Oh and then after arguing with Austin I went into a panic and went to hook up with Drew, even though things are rocky there, but he wanted to talk and I was not for it so I just ran and now I'm here," I finished explaining with a shrug, my hands reaching down to play with the sand.

"Yeah I saw Drew and he asked if I had seen you," JD said, "I told him I hadn't since I didn't know what was going on, but what's up with that?"

"Thanks but you didn't have to," I smiled, "And just some miscommunications"

"Hey I'm all ears if you want," he smiled.

"God," I sighed putting my head in my hands again, "I'm so unprepared for the world, if my own family won't trust me how will anyone else?"