Growing up was very hard for me. Being emotionally and kinda physically abused. It was hard to you know socialize in such a huge family I lived in with 20 cousins you being the little one. So mainly books, writing, and drawing were my escape from the real world. But as I was growing up I was battling my own battles. With me trying to find out who the hell I was! And I'm still in the battle with who the hell am I?! I don't know who I am... and I'm pretty sure that's bad O.o I'm so lost and broken, I'm honestly surprised I'm still here. And me dealing with the problem of my widdle brother or sister I lost... With that thought of what he/she would look like. He/she would've been 4 now and being all mighty strong. But their gone.. up in heaven as they say. Ever since I lost him or her I've grown even more depressed with that thought. Crying myself to sleep thinking about them and how life would've of been. Or why the hell I'm here. Is my life mainly saving people and trying not to have a message of someone saying " farewell friend see you in heaven". I'm scared shitless that they'll leave. And my now family.. which is my mommy, my daddy, and my only brother. What will happen with them? How will I continue life without them? Will i be strong? death isnt my fear. Being without them is.
Pero then I think of others and then I feel selfish but then I get sad cause I won't get to hear other peoples story or how they went threw life. Or why that girl in my English class cries.
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today is i dont know friday? pretty sure its friday.... okay lets just say its friday because ive lost count of these goddamn days. i dont know what to do. im lost... thank you depression. trying to breath here with this pain not knowing when ill get those results. and it kills me /.\ am i gunna die? will they be positive?! or negative??? im such a quiter and a voiceless person. i couldve made myself better. Happier. but no.. i let those hits and kicks of society and life itself. maybe thats the reason why i suffer from anxiety and i was never in the form of perfection so i became the best example of neglection. but even after rainy days i tried to smile i really did but i became distant and filled with anger and depression. because the heart has secrets the mouth refuses to utter all the time.
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Hi,
I remember you... And I still love you. I gave you my hearts. The only piece I ever had, my love. Pero you never gave it back and that's okay I don't need it anymore. Cause.. cause who will ever love me? Do keep it forever okay. promise me... that you'll still remember me like I remember you.
Forever? Rose and Rosie...
Remember?....
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Uhh its 4-22-15
Okay im in earth science and my teacher was looking at hurricane names and well...
